More Filipino women choose live-in arrangement over having a wedding — survey

More Filipino women have chosen a live-in arrangement than get married, a survey in 2022 by the Commission on Population Development has shown.

According to Nico Waje's report on "State of the Nation", the National Demographic and Health Survey conducted in 2022 showed that 19% of Filipino women aged 15 to 49 years old are in a live-in setup, higher than the 5% recorded in 1993.

The number of Filipino women in the same age bracket who chose to get married went down to 36% in 2022 from 54% in 1993. 

Anthropologist Nestor Castro said Filipinos' view of the family had changed since the 1990s. 

“Kaya nga ‘may bahay’ kasi nasa bahay lang siya, pero ngayon pareho nang nagtatrabaho,” he said. “Marami na silang nakakahalubilong iba, so pwedeng okay sila ngayon pero bukas, sa hinaharap hindi na okay.” 

(They were called housewives because they just stayed at home, but both are now working these days…Couples are meeting different people. So they might be okay now, but it could be different in the future.) 

Faye Ruiz and Jefferson Sanchez have been living together for a decade after three years of dating.

“'Di ba sabi nila hindi mo malalaman ang tunay na ugali ng lalaki hangga’t di mo siya nakakasama sa iisang bubong. Kapag married ka at may nangyari, hindi ka agad makakawala, kasi nga mayroong papel na nagtatali sa iyo,” Ruiz said. 

(They say that you cannot know a man well unless you live with him under one roof. If you are married and something goes wrong, it will be difficult to get out of that relationship given that a paper binds you together.) 

“Mayroon nga kaka-kasal lang, kinabukasan hiwalay na,” said Sanchez. 

(Some who have just gotten married break up the following day.) 

The two, however, noted that they don’t take each other for granted despite the setup of their relationship.

“Naka-commit din kami para ding kasal na iko-commit mo rin ang sarili mo, wala nga lang basbas ng church,” said Ruiz. 

(We also committed to one another. Just like a marriage, you also commit yourselves but without the church’s blessing.) 

But Ruiz and Sanchez said that they are still looking forward to getting married soon. 

“Oo naman, sinong babae ang hindi gusto,” said Ruiz. 

(Of course, I think all women would want to get married someday.) 

“Papakasalan ko naman siya,” Sanchez replied. 

(I will marry her.)

Catholic Church

For its part, the Catholic Church said that those who are living together for a long time should get married as soon as possible. 

“Living together kasi, co-habitation there’s an over reliance on sexual expression, sa halip na sa pagpapalalim ng kanilang ugnayan through conversation at saka communication,” said Fr. Raul Caga of Sacred Heart Parish Shrine. 

(There’s an overreliance on sexual expression instead of deepening their connection through conversations and communication.)

“The best way really to prepare for a lasting relationship, especially sa marriage, is yung best preparation,” said Caga, adding that God should be the center of all relationships. 

(The best way really to prepare for a lasting relationship, especially a marriage, is to have the best preparation.) — Vince Angelo Ferreras/BAP, GMA Integrated News