Maricar Reyes opens up on how she moved forward from 2009 scandal

Maricar Reyes talked about her journey of healing from the scandal that rocked her life back in 2009.

On Monday's episode of "Fast Talk With Boy Abunda," Maricar said what helped her move forward was her relationship with God, listening to other women, and the support of her husband Richard Poon.

The actress, who also wrote a book titled "Maricar" to share her story, said she had to learn to release her "death grip" on her good reputation after it was tarnished by what happened.

"I feel like I've been turned inside out," she said. "Kasi all my life parang the way I would do things, the way I would live life feeling ko na tama, is you know, you look good, you do good, external stuff. Basta you look good, people don't see the bad stuff you're doing, you're OK."

Around one year after the scandal, Maricar said that was when she began to reflect on what happened with a different perspective, taking accountability for her own actions.

"I saw my part in it. Kasi for the longest I couldn't see what I did wrong like or parang the thought was, what did I do to deserve something this big?" she said.

"I can't talk about this without going into God," she said. "When I see my situation through His eyes, and I start to also know kung sino ba talaga Siya, mas nagiging klaro na, 'Sablay ka din eh,'" she said. "It's accumulation of your little choices that were hurting God and hurting yourself in the process."

Talking to women who were in a similar situation also helped her heal. 

"I was introduced to women na sobrang brutal din with their struggles and very honest na parang, 'Oh, ito 'yung sablay ko, na yes I went through this trauma, but actually what dug me into a deeper hole was my response not the trauma,'" she said.

Having Richard by her side was also a huge factor, because of his ability to be honest with her and take her into account for her faults.

The singer said owning up to her own mistakes was the reason why Maricar did not name names in her book.

"Puwede naman niyang kunin 'yung route na, 'Hindi, biktima ako, magne-name ako ng names para malaman ng lahat na inosente ako at sila ang gumawa ng mali,'" he said. 

"Pero hindi niya purpose 'yun eh. Ang purpose niya is there's nothing we can do about the other side, ang side ko ang puwedeng may accountability so kaya walang names. It's, 'I will focus on my mistakes.' Dun tayo makaka-move forward," he added.

Maricar was involved in a video scandal with Hayden Kho in 2009. She said it took her around 13 years to write a book and tell her story.

"Maricar" is available on maricarreyes.com. Aside from it, Maricar also wrote another book titled "10 Things We Fight About" together with Richard.

—MGP, GMA Integrated News