Randy Santiago on the hardest part about losing his son Ryan

At the wake of his son Ryan Leonard Santiago, Randy Santiago was very emotional, holding back his tears and putting on his bravest face.

In an interview on "24 Oras" which aired on Wednesday night, Randy said he couldn’t even bear to start looking for a place to hold Ryan’s remains. “Kahit i-prepare mo, masakit sa sarili mo na i-prepare mo…kahit yung columbaryong paglalagyan niya, ayaw ko naman maghanap,” Randy said.

He plans to temporarily put his son’s ashes together with those of his parents, “pero for me to, maghanap ng paglalagyan niya, hindi ko kaya.”

According to Randy, the boy was worried about the family’s expenses given his condition.

“Hindi ako magsasawang ipaglaban ka. Kasi nahihiya siya sa akin. Sabi niya, ‘papa, ang laki laki na ng gastos [mo]. Sabi ko, wag mong intindihin gastos ko. Magpe-pray tayo sa panginoon na magkaroon na ng trabaho para mapaglaban kita.”

Ryan passed away on Sunday at age 24. When he was 21, Ryan was diagnosed with a rare brain disease and multiple sclerosis. — LA/KVD, GMA News