Group formed to help Pinay mothers, wives in UAE ‘recharge’

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates – In what is seen as a welcome respite from the daily grind of being a mother in a foreign land, a group has been formed offering a “recharging space” for Filipino moms running on empty.

Formed by Angelica Christine de Guzman, a mom and sales operations specialist at a cybersecurity company, Sharjah Filipina Squad (SFS) started as a candid Facebook group whose membership has exponentially grown in just a few months since it first started holding coffee chats in April this year.

“I founded this group because I felt exhausted and burnt out. For the past 19 years, my life has revolved around work and family only, leaving me with no extra-curricular activities. This began affecting my mental health,” de Guzman told GMA News Online.

“I missed the person I used to be. To be a better wife and mother, I knew I needed to prioritize self-care and it is not selfish to have self-love because that will help improve my relationship with my spouse and son. I  realized I have to find support that can provide guidance on what I was going through.”

It turned out she was not alone. Membership of the group’s Facebook page has grown from just a handful to 300 women, mostly moms.

“On the evening of April 21, 2024, I decided to post in several  Sharjah-based Facebook groups looking for a ladies-only coffee meet-up or beginner-friendly sports group. I decided to find new friendships nearby to make meet-ups more accessible,” she said.

De Guzman said her post resonated with many women who shared her feelings.

“I received numerous comments and DMs from those interested in joining.  Inspired by this response, I created a messenger group chat, inviting my common mommy friends, and was pleasantly surprised by how many could relate to my situation. The first meet-up I organized was a success, and it marked the beginning of a supportive community for women like us,”  added de Guzman, who has been married to a Pakistani for the past 15 years with whom she has a 14-year-old son.

Meet-up

The first “coffee chat” meet-up was on April 28. This was followed by more such events with the sixth being held on July 6 with close to 30 attendees.

The meet-ups provide a safe,  non-judgmental space where ladies can share their stories, offer support, and grow stronger together, explained de Guzman, who hails from Batangas City and is an alumna of St. Scholastica's College on Taft Avenue, Manila.

Wives and mothers play various roles in family life, and dedicate themselves to being loving wives and nurturing mothers, said de Guzman.

Many also have careers outside the home, have a small home-based business, or help and assist their husbands in their businesses.

“Juggling these responsibilities can sometimes lead to feeling overwhelmed and anxious about our family's future, our children's education, and our relatives in the Philippines,” said de  Guzman.

Issues that bind

De Guzman said issues facing Filipino women married to foreign nationals include cultural differences that could lead to cultural gaps and adjustment difficulties in the marriage as both parties make an extra effort to understand and respect each other’s backgrounds, values, and beliefs.

Another is language barriers, which is a challenge to effective communication.

Married to a non-Tagalog speaking spouse, Filipinas struggle to express their thoughts, emotions, and needs accurately, leading to misunderstandings or frustrations.

This is especially more pronounced in family gatherings with their spouse's relatives, said de Guzman.

“When everyone else speaks a language they don't understand, Filipinas may feel isolated and left out. This can contribute to feelings of awkwardness and a sense of not belonging,” she explained.

Another challenge is family dynamics, when Filipinas are married to foreign nationals they need to adjust to new duties and get along well with their husband's family, which can be difficult.

Child-rearing, too, can be an issue as parents need to navigate different cultural backgrounds, values, and traditions to create a nurturing environment for their children.

Married to a kabayan

Being married to a fellow Filipino can also have its inherent issues, said de Guzman.

Among these are financial challenges, where both spouses work to support their families in the UAE and back home in the Philippines, leading to financial stress.

Childcare and education are other stumbling blocks as managing work and family life in the UAE can be challenging for expat  Filipinas.

The challenges that come with the pressures of maintaining a strong and healthy relationship while living abroad can also be an area of concern.

Voicing it

In some cases, these issues can get out of hand and lead to marital spats that may escalate into full-blown spousal abuse, domestic violence, and abandonment.

De Guzman said relevant Philippine government agencies like the embassy and the consulate may come into the picture by finding solutions and improving the support available to Filipinas residing in the UAE.

“I have not experienced that, but I have seen and heard from other  Filipinas who faced challenges navigating the UAE's legal system,  particularly when it comes to matters such as employment disputes,  marital issues, or immigration concerns,” she said.

Help may come in the form of legal counseling to guide Filipinas through complex legal processes and ensure their rights are protected; workshops and seminars on local laws and regulations; and a continuously improving collaboration with local authorities.

Happy husband

De Guzman, who arrived in Dubai 19 years ago, said her husband was supportive and proud of her advocacy.

“I went home from the first meet-up with very happy vibes. The feeling is liberating when you’ve finally connected with other women, especially fellow Filipinas," she recounted.

“Some members even have their husbands dropping them off at the meet-up place; others have theirs wait or go malling with their kids. The husbands are happy because they see the positive impact and happiness on their wives’ faces,” said de Guzman. — DVM, GMA Integrated News