Hirap ka bang mag-move on? Here's why

"What if ginawa ko 'to?"

Ayon kay Maxine Giron, isang psychologist na espesyalista sa ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, kailangang alamin kung may magagawa ka nga ba para mabago ang isang sitwasyong hindi mo matanggap. Dahil kung wala ka namang magagawa, kailangan mo nang mag-move on.

Hindi talaga madaling mag-LET GO. And you know what? Okay lang 'yan.

'Yan at mga paraan para mas maintindihan ang proseso ng pag-move on ang pag-uusapan sa episode na ito ng #ShareKoLang, kasama ang ating safe space na si Doc Anna.

DOC ANNA: Hello, mga Kapuso. Ako si Dr. Anna Tuazon, ang inyong kakuwentuhan na psychologist sa Share Ko Lang.

Mayroon ka ba naging major life event na nahirapan kang tanggapin? 'Yung kahit anong effort mo mag-move on, parang may humihila sa 'yo pabalik.

Sa pagtatapos ng 2024, pag-uusapan natin sa Share Ko Lang kung ano ang puwede mong gawin para maging payapa ang pagpapaalam sa taon at maluwag ang inyong simula sa 2025.

At ngayon, makakasama natin si Maxine Giron, isang licensed psychologist at Acceptance and Commitment Therapy practitioner. Hello, Maxine, welcome to Share Ko Lang.

MAXINE: Hi, Doc Anna. Hello. Nice to be here.

DOC ANNA: So okay, so you practice Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT for short. Ano nga ba ang importanteng malaman natin about ACT and how it differs from... kasi baka 'yung iba akala nila pare-pareho lang ang psychotherapy. So ano 'yung main thrust ng ACT?

MAXINE: So ACT is one of the approaches or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is one of the approaches we use in psychotherapy. It differs from CBT or cognitive behavior therapy because ACT focuses on facing the distress rather than changing how you perceive it.

DOC ANNA: So 'yung iba kasi, 'di ba, 'pag sinabing tanggapin, 'di ba, ako sa Tagalog, tanggapin mo na lang. 'Yung iba kasi, 'di ba, nag-resist diyan kasi parang ang passive pakinggan. Parang hindi ka lumalaban. And yet, the way you're describing ACT, Maxine, 'di ba, it's actually a very active process.

MAXINE: Correct.

DOC ANNA: Sabi mo nga it's acting, it's facing, not running away, not avoiding 'yung reality or 'yung experience.

MAXINE: Correct.

DOC ANNA: Yeah, so ano 'yung mga typical situation in your experience being a practitioner, ano 'yung mga typical scenario na nahihirapan 'yung mga tao when it comes to acceptance?

MAXINE: So typical cases or concerns and issues na best gamitin 'yung ACT is 'yung mga taong nai-stuck, right?

So parang kunwari, break-up na "Mahal ko pa siya pero niloko niya ako, anong gagawin ko?" It is a moment where you're confused, 'di ba?

So meaning mayroon tayong hinaharap na ayaw natin tapos mayroon din tayong hinaharap na parang mayroon tayong tinatawag na intrapsychic conflict.

Meaning we're confused as to how we will approach this because naglalaban mismo 'yung mga nasa loob natin. So ang goal ng Acceptance Commitment Therapy is to look at the situation as what it is without judgment, right?

So actually, maraming cases like break-ups na in the beginning, maririnig natin na "Naghiwalay kami, binlock ko na siya," okay? Pero paano 'pag nakita na natin? Which is very common in my clinic because usually I would find clients come back and say, "Nakita ko 'yung ex ko after three months. Bumalik ako sa zero." Parang step.

And I go, "This is because you have avoided something and you have unconsciously taught yourself na hindi ko siya kaya harapin." So 'pag dumarating siya, it triggers this whole intrapsychic conflict again of like, "Hindi ko talaga kaya."

So common cases are heartbreaks, people who are stuck, who are in conflict between "Anong gagawin ko?", right? Or kaya changing the situation na "kung bumalik lang siya, kung mag-sorry lang siya, okay na ako."

But the question is, paano kung hindi 'yun mangyari? Then you will never be okay, right?

So Acceptance Commitment Therapy is first step niyan is acceptance. Meaning we don't want to change it. We want to look at it, evaluate it with curiosity, and then look back in ourselves who we are as people and commit in doing that in approaching the concern. So in essence, parang ganu'n 'yung approach ng ACT.

And so isa sa mga napansin ko... So there are six principles kasi in ACT, right? Meaning, these are the things we want the client to equip themselves with or skills.

Unang-una, is 'yung acceptance.

Pangalawang nakikita ko riyan, 'yung detachment from thoughts. Meaning, mayroon tayong tendency kasi na kunwari may naisip ako na nami-miss ko siya. "Huh? Ba't ko siya nami-miss? Ba't ko 'yung naisip? Siguro hindi pa...."

We create so many interpretations from a thought when in reality, it is just a thought. It doesn't reflect who you are. It doesn't reflect the reality. But people dive into that thought tapos pinaparami nila. Ngayon, that creates anxiety. So dahil sobrang dami na ng thought na 'yun, nakakaroon na sila ng anxiety as their reality. So then it creates this whole feeling of struggle between them, between their true selves.

DOC ANNA: Oo, may meaning lagi and the thing is, thoughts, I mean, 'di ba they're just sets of neurons firing. If we have to detach ourselves talaga, parang we can really reduce it. And thoughts can be true and thoughts can be false in terms of fact checking. And thoughts are thoughts.

MAXINE: Correct. Lagi ko sinasabi sa mga client ko, huwag kayo agad naniniwala sa thoughts n'yo. Kasi hindi lahat ng iniisip natin totoo.

Ang problema is kapag hindi siya totoo, tapos nilagyan natin siya ng dugtong, we feel, we start to be convinced that it is true, right?

And what we think eventually influences how we feel, and then it goes back to the thought again "Ayan na, nararamdaman ko na so totoo na talaga 'yung thought." Which makes everything complicated, in fact.

DOC ANNA: So sabi mo nga, there are six components to ACT or six principles.

MAXINE: Right.

DOC ANNA: … Kumpletuhin lang natin, Maxine.

MAXINE: Sure.

DOC ANNA: Ano 'yung other four?

MAXINE: So the first one is acceptance, meaning anything you resist will persist, right? So 'pag pinipigilan mo, lalong lumalala.

Second is detachment from thoughts, meaning we want to look at our thoughts as just thoughts. They're not a reflection of anything true yet.

The third one is present focused. Kadalasan kasi when we have a thought or kaya mayroon tayong longing, bumabalik tayo sa past, we keep thinking about the past, thinking that it would change or kaya naman future, which causes anxiety.

So the fourth one is we call it observing self. Mayroon kasi tayong thinking self at mayroon din tayong observing self.

And then the fifth one is values clarification. Ibig sabihin, ito 'yung... values kasi is our compass, eh. For example, guilt. Guilt is very heavy, right? But guilt reflects na mayroon kang kumbaga moralidad or konsensya. So hindi masamang ma-feel guilty. So kailangan natin siyang i-observe na saan ito nanggagaling? Anong sinasabi ng emotion na ito? Instead of us pushing it away, right?

And then, the last one is values enactment, which is kunwari naramdaman natin 'yung emotion na 'yun, naintindihan natin saan siya galing. How can we be true to ourselves by following that value system?

So the six components of ACT, dalawa 'yung nagiging components niya, which is i-aaccept natin 'yung mga bagay without judgment while we commit in reflecting to our own values as our compass in approaching the situation.

DOC ANNA: Parang you need to accept something before you can let go. Siyempre tayong mga psychologist, alam natin 'yan sa emotions and thoughts. We need to accept our emotions without judgment. Kaya let's say, accept our anger, accept our sadness, accept that it's lonely to end, 'di ba, when you're coming out of a relationship.

MAXINE: Yeah.

DOC ANNA: … So kanina, break-ups, 'no? Punta naman tayo sa mga ibang common na situation.

How about letting go of your dreams? Mabigat 'yan. Malaki 'yan sa mga Kapuso natin, eh. 'Yung nag-let go sila ng dream job, ng dream path in life, 'yung, you know, like letting go na, kundi, "Ah, hindi na ako magkaka-family, or kaya, you know." How do you let go of a dream?

MAXINE: Okay. Mabigat 'yan. But let's, I'd like to siguro describe or give definition to terms first.

So when we say letting go, it kinda also means that you're accepting it. Kumbaga tinanggap mo na siya, hindi mo na siya ni-negotiate, right? So ano ngayon 'yung mga bagay na dapat natin tanggapin at ano 'yung mga bagay na kaya pa nating baguhin, right?

So anything, when we talk about acceptance and the opposite of it, which is control, na kaya natin magawan ng paraan, 'yun 'yung mga bagay na maco-commit natin.

Sa kabilang part naman, 'yung talagang hindi na natin hawak or kontrolado. For example, 'yun 'yung sinasabi nating mga dream. Kunwari lang, unfortunately, for some reason, hindi na talaga puwede mangyari 'yung dream na 'yun and it is within, outside of our control, we need to accept it.

And some of that could include, you know, timing or kaya 'yung other people's actions. Kunwari 'di mo alam kung babalik pa siya and you have to accept and let that go. Why? Because the truth is this, kahit isipin natin siya every day, kahit hawakan natin siya every day, it will not affect because it's not in our control.

The brain kasi has a tendency to think about something over and over because it gives us a fake sense of control.

So I like to illustrate this point as kunwari lang. Today is Monday and I have plans on Sunday. And Sunday is very important to me. Tapos ayokong umulan, right. Weather. So kahit Monday hanggang Saturday, mino-monitor ko 'yung weather. "Sana hindi umulan." It doesn't change the weather on Sunday, right?

So I need to let that go, meaning accept that I cannot control the weather on Sunday, but I can commit na on Sunday, kung umulan, ito gagawin ko. Kung hindi, ito gagawin ko. Meaning, we focus our attention and energy on the things within our control.

So for example, a dream that used to be so important to us and for some reason, it's not just gonna happen. Kahit na mag-isip tayo ng "What if ginawa ko ito? Sana ginawa ko ito. Paano kung gawin ko ito?" The truth is this, masakit man sabihin but it is a waste of time. At sinasaktan lang natin 'yung sarili natin because there's absolutely nothing we can do about it anymore.

And that's okay because we can still commit to something na parang puwede tayo mag-reflect doon na "Bakit ko nga ba gusto 'yung dream job na 'yun?" Because 'yung value system doon, puwede ko pa 'yun i-express on something else, right? So it's difficult. But una natin kailangan gawin is to understand "May magagawa ba ako?" Kasi kung mayroon, we need to commit to it. Pero kung wala, we need to let it go and accept it.

DOC ANNA: I think baka hindi namalayan ng iba pero as a fellow practitioner, I think, mayroon kang important na sinabi: the opposite of acceptance is control. Because I don't think a lot of people realize na 'yun 'yung opposite.

Isang misconception nila is, "If I don't accept it, then it means I'm still solving it." That's why, 'di ba, a lot of people think to accept is to give up, is to be passive, is to be resigned to something na parang, "Ah, sige, tanggapin ko na lang."

Lalo na 'pag sa Tagalog, 'no? Nafe-feel mo talaga 'yung passivity, "Sige, sige, tatanggapin ko na lang." 'Di ba sabi, "Uy, nagpapakamartir ka." 'Di ba? Yun 'yung...

MAXINE: Correct. Tapos nare-reward pa siya.

DOC ANNA: Connotation, eh.

MAXINE: Yes, yes, yes.

DOC ANNA: 'Yung pagtanggap na ayaw mo nang magbago 'yung realidad mo. And what you're saying is actually, 'yung ia-accept, hindi naman lahat ia-accept natin.

MAXINE: Correct, correct.

DOC ANNA: What we are accepting is something that we have no choice but to accept. 'Di ba? Parang kasi ito na 'yung reality. These are the things outside of our control. Weather, traffic.

MAXINE: Correct.

DOC ANNA: You know that there are these gatekeepers in every job, dream job, et cetera. And actually, the more natanggap natin na wala tayong control doon, then sabi mo nga, it's a waste of time because time is precious, right? Because the time we spend wishing on the what-ifs, we can use that towards the things na may control talaga tayo na sabi mo nga, okay, kung hindi puwede sa company na 'to, let's say my dream job is nakatali roon sa specific company. And at least for the moment, for the present, medyo walang movement in terms of actualizing that dream.

MAXINE: Yes. Kumbaga, huwag natin... Hindi naman porket hindi na siya nangyari doon, hindi na siya puwedeng mangyari ever.

So for example, 'yun, tama 'yun, mayroon tayong gustong dream. Eh, kaso hindi talaga siya timing today. My first question to that person is, "Bakit mo gusto 'yun? What is going on inside of you that really pushes you to pursue that?"

Huwag natin siya sayangin kasi totoo 'yun sa 'yo, eh. Importante siya sa 'yo. Humanap tayo ng ibang paraan or options na magiging totoo ka pa rin sa sarili mo pero sa ibang bagay na kontrolado mo na, right?

Kasi ang nangyayari when we ruminate or we focus on the things that we can't control, again, nai-stuck tayo lalo. Ibig sabihin, kasi kung dati sana, kung dati sana. And then, because you start to negotiate with something you cannot change, you're basically putting less and less hope in you, right? So acceptance to me is like this. You see it for what it is. Instead of wasting your energy changing it, you're gonna use that energy to cope through it, right?

Kumbaga hindi na natin ito mababago. We need to accept the fact that this is what it is. And Acceptance Commitment Therapy kasi, is for me, the most effective way to understand yourself as well. Kasi hindi na, para natin tinuturo sa mga tao, even sa sarili natin, na hindi mawawala ang problema ng buhay, right? Hindi natin siya puwedeng iwasan.

DOC ANNA: And then minsan, parang kung hindi pa nila talaga, wala pa sila roon, completely moved on or accepted the whole... it's a process of grieving when you end something or when you let go of a dream. May grief din 'yun.

So 'pag hindi pa sila roon, minsan ang sabi ko na lang, "Ang i-accept na lang natin na impatient ka." Accept the impatience without judgment, with kindness. It's okay.

I know this is what I need to go through. And I'm also accepting that there is impatience in here. That's why it's even harder to go through.

MAXINE: That's a really nice one. Just accept that this is what you're feeling today. I agree with that.

DOC ANNA: So mayroong iba aside from... kasi talagang siyempre break-ups and there are other life events also na talagang mahirap tanggapin. And perhaps maybe, wala tayong choice, pero tanggapin. Pero ang hirap pa rin kahit alam natin wala tayong choice.

MAXINE: Of course.

DOC ANNA: Ang hirap pa rin. Which is, for example, if something changes in our lives, na hindi reversible. So kunwari, chronic conditions. 'Di ba 'yung mga people with chronic pain? You find out you have diabetes, asthma, things like that. And I know ACT is used really well as a pain intervention for this.

Pero when it comes, kasi 'yung break-up, parang in a way, mayroon ka pang sense, "Oh makaka-move on ako riyan. After a while, talaga genuinely moved on na ako."

What about things that stay with you? 'Di ba? Accepting the things that stay with you.

MAXINE: That's a really good one. I like what you said there about pain, na it is actually really used for even body sensations. I don't know if you've seen 'yung mga ice bath. 'Yung mga players, 'di ba, 'pag mga athlete. And when you dip your arm in a bowl full of ice, 'di ba masakit siya? Parang it's very uncomfortable. But if you notice, the mechanism behind why can people do this, 'yung nakalubog sila sa sobrang... Sakit 'yun eh. Masakit 'yung sensation in the body. It's really them breathing through it.

Meaning, they put a distance between the pain and how they're perceiving it. How? It's when you get yourself immersed in something uncomfortable, our instinct is, "Ugh. Ayoko 'to." But if you... Mas dumadali siya. Of course, nandu'n pa rin 'yung sakit, yes.

But there's another concept in ACT na tinatawag natin na distancing yourself or observing yourself. Na parang when we create this space na medyo kaya natin siyang ma-tolerate. That's why one of the things I encourage my clients to do is don't use your symptoms as who you are. That's why we don't want any diagnosis to be that person's identity because we can get fused in it.

Ang lagi ko sinasabi sa mga client ko is 'pag dumarating na 'yung anxiety. Because if we think we are the anxiety, then how we create a solution if we think we are the problem? So in terms of pain and really being immersed into something chronic, sometimes we have to create na "Hindi lang naman ako 'yung pain na 'to. There's more to me than what's happening. There's more to me than just having this disorder. I'm a good mom, I'm a parent, I'm a friend." And so we create ways to allow that experience to be there without changing it. But it's not all that there is to it.

DOC ANNA: Mayroon pang isa, eh. Kasi 'yung iba, iniisip nila 'pag sinabi mo kasi, "Oh, acceptance." Parang you encourage them to accept. Parang iba, "Uy, napaka-invalidating mo naman." Parang they get offended sometimes.

MAXINE: Correct. Tanggapin mo na lang.

DOC ANNA: Oo. Kasi iba... Again, 'pag sa Tagalog talaga, "Tanggapin mo na lang. Move on ka na."

So how can we encourage people towards acceptance in a manner na hindi naman nakaka-invalidate? Para siguro sa mga well-meaning friend and loved ones who want to encourage, 'di ba, others.

MAXINE: I really like that. Kunwari lang, I'll use an example. Let's say may gathering na family reunion, 'di ba. Tapos makikita na naman natin si tita, o si lola, o si relative, o si anyone na laging sinasabi, "O, tumaba ka." Or "Ba't wala ka pang asawa?" 'Yung mga ganyan. Very invalidating.

Acceptance in that sense means "Ganoon talaga si tita," right? But it doesn't mean na mataba ako. It's not about you. It's about accepting that they are the way that they are, and how they respond and treat you is a reflection of themselves and not you.

Kung naiintindihan ko na that's really just how she is, hindi ko ito-tolerate 'yun. So I will commit to my values of self-respect, confidence, that I would assert myself, "Tita, naiintindihan ko na ganito."

Some people, 'pag tinitignan natin 'yung context na "Hayaan mo na, move on ka na," I always look at intentions. Maybe she doesn't know what else to say. Maybe she's doing that because in her mind, okay na 'yun, or kaya uncomfortable siya. Right?

DOC ANNA: Siya mismo, ayaw niya mag-stay du'n sa sad, unpleasant emotions.

MAXINE: Correct. Kumbaga, nai-impose natin na sinasabi niya 'yun, kasi ganito ako. No. Sinasabi niya 'yun, kasi 'yun siya. So let's always... Ang lagi kong sinasabi is how will you respond to that? Because that gives you the power to understand that it's not about you. And it gives you the ability to become true to yourself as you respond to that very invalidating comment.

DOC ANNA: So, Maxine, actually we asked 'yung mga Kapuso, 'no, kung ano para sa kanila 'yung ibig sabihin ng acceptance and moving on sa buhay.

Actually, ang gaganda ng mga response nila. Sobrang, sabi ko, "Mga psychologist ba ito?"

'Yung isang Kapuso, 'no, sabi niya, "Acceptance is the bridge between heartache and healing. It's not about erasing the past but embracing the present. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, it means learning to carry the memories with grace and finding strength in letting go." O, di ba?

MAXINE: Wow. Wow.

DOC ANNA: Nandoon na lahat yata ng ACT principle.

MAXINE: Exactly. Kumbaga, tiningnan niya 'yung experience niya. It wasn't negative or bad that I need to change. It happened for a reason. And what did that teach me? That I can accept today as part of who I am and use that to move forward in life. Beautiful, you said.

DOC ANNA: And 'yung focus niya, acceptance means you're just being in the present. That's what it means. Acceptance keeps you in the present and that's why acceptance keeps you moving.

MAXINE: Exactly.

DOC ANNA: May isa pang Kapuso. Sabi niya "Acceptance is acknowledging the choices made in life whether you gained nothing or something. Moving on is learning to live with your past experiences whether they were good or bad as they have shaped who I am today. It is the past that has made me who I am."

O, 'di ba? 'Yung pananaw niya about the past. Talagang na-accept niya. Maganda, masama ang nangyari, it made me who I am today. Today is still in the present. Parang ang sabi ko, "Wow."

MAXINE: Ang galing nu'ng answer na 'yun kasi actually that's how you can heal your trauma. Meaning, yes, it happened. There's nothing I can do about it anymore. Not to say that trauma is something that we can just downplay and minimize but allowing yourself to say... Kasi kadalasan when we react, it means that there is something in us that is unhealed yet or we didn't want to process and so we hate that part of us.

One of the things I try to reframe thoughts when things are very distressing is that maybe [during] that time, that's all you knew what's best. Maybe that time you were doing your best with the resources you had. And you can't blame yourself for choosing what you thought was best during that time because it equipped you today to use your experiences there to become a better human being moving forward.

DOC ANNA: Yeah and you know 'yung iba namang mga Kapuso natin parang tinanong din kasi namin ano 'yung mga first step nila para maka-move on mula sa major life event.

'Yung isa, umiyak nang umiyak which is it's very... minsan you know sometimes, 'di ba we just normalize. It makes sense. We've gone through something messy unpleasant, 'di ba, nag-blind side sa 'yo. It makes sense to have strong emotions about that.

I'm curious about what you think about this one. 'Yung isang Kapuso, sabi niya "Unfriend anyone who made me suffer." What would that ACT say about that?

MAXINE: I would like to create like a difference between suffering, 'no? Meaning if it's abusive that it causes your safety to be compromised definitely.

But if it's inconvenient, it reminds you of something, again if we do not face it...Kasi ang nangyayari is natututunan natin na hindi ko talaga kaya right?

So when we avoid something that we know we can do but it makes us somehow uncomfortable, we are actually teaching ourselves na again not being able to learn how to overcome that.

But again, I'm drawing a line between safety. Oviously 'pag safety hindi ka talaga okay roon, harmful na siya, definitely lalo na 'pag abuse. Because if you are constantly allowing that in your life, it can change your thought process, right? Abuse can can create realities that are not your truth to the point minsan nga sa sobrang lala ng abuse, nakakaroon na ng "hindi ko alam 'yung katotohanan."

'Pag dumarating na sa ganu'ng point, definitely cut them out. But if it's something that ayaw mo lang maalala just because, I'd suggest na... Sabi ko nga ganito 'yan, eh. Kunwari break-up tapos nakita niya 'yung photos, 'di ba? Sabi ko, the worst thing already happened which is the break-up. Ibig sabihin that's the worst thing that could happen in the relationship, maghiwalay kayo at magkaroon siya ng iba. Those already happened and you survived it.

So looking at a picture will not hurt as much as that but it's grounding you to the reality. Kasi ang nangyayari 'pag bina-block natin siya, hindi tayo naka-ground sa totoong reality. Gumagawa tayo ng "Baka mamaya iniisip pa niya ako" and we comfort ourselves with things that are not real. Therefore, 'pag na-confront tayo ng real, parang ang sakit kasi hindi siya nag-match du'n sa gusto mo.

So confronting the reality means kakayanin mo 'to kasi kinaya mo na 'yung worst, eh. Mahirap, oo, but that will just give you the opportunity to face the reality of life and it will equip you to overcome it. Kumbaga hindi ka matatalo kung haharapin mo kasi natututunan mo 'yung sarili mo magkaroon ng skills para ma-overcome 'yung mga darating na problema.

DOC ANNA: At saka, 'di ba 'pag ayaw mong harapin 'yung masakit and then, sinubukan mo i-avoid or i-compartmentalize, kung kanina sa time, parang you're freezing that moment in time so actually paradoxically pino-prolong mo. 'Yun 'yung sinasabi ko sa mga tao, "Parang it's sort of counterintuitive, 'di ba?"

The more you refuse to accept, the longer the actual suffering will be. But if you don't freeze it in time, you allow the natural course of... parang eventually every day it gets a little bit, 'di ba? Hindi naman linear, minsan may talagang rollercoaster.

MAXINE: Parang waves of emotions.

DOC ANNA: Yes, but still you allow nature's course to take its place. But if you sort of with your thoughts and in your emotions, kinahon mo, finreeze mo, that's why every time you look back, it's still scary.

MAXINE: Yes. Mayroon nga ako analogy diyan, recently, eh. 'Coz I have a son, 4 years old na lalaki na magulo, siyempre ang daming energy. 'Pag nasasaktan 'yung anak ko tapos nakakasugat siya, this is how I look at it, eh. Parang physical wound, let's say nagkasugat 'yung anak ko and because ayaw niya lagyan ng gamot, masakit, ganoon din tayo, eh. We want Band-Aid. So 'yung anak ko sasabihin niya, "Mom, can I have Band-Aid?"

So 'pag nilagyan natin 'yung sugat ng Band-Aid without treating it, nakakaroon ng infection, right? And so ang nangyayari, nakakaroon siya ng... hindi na siya dumudugo pero mayroon siyang skin on top. And that infection, 'pag napipindot, sobrang sakit.

So like a psychological wound na "Okay na 'yan. Huwag na natin isipin 'yan. Okay na 'yan." Tapos may nag-trigger that reminds you of that, sobrang sakit. Ibig sabihin, in therapy we want... like a physical wound, we want to be able to open it again to drain it out. Meaning we have to talk about it again for you to understand those feelings and drain it out because that's where true healing happens.

And I was just talking to one of my good friends. Sabi niya sa akin "Ganda nu'ng analogy na 'yun". Kasi doctor siya, eh. He explained to me that an infection na hindi ginamot, pumupunta sa dugo, pumupunta sa buong katawan. Similar to a psychological wound na 'yung takot mo rito, lumalaki siya, napupunta rin sya sa iba't ibang aspeto ng buhay mo.

So don't take the shortcut because the shortcut will continue to damage many other things, right? And you're not being true to yourself. Kaya nga sabi ko, 'yung katulad ng physical na nagwo-workout, 'yung lifestyle change is the one that we want compared to that quick result. So don't take the shortcut. There's nothing around it, only through it.

DOC ANNA: Okay and with that, thank you, Maxine. So sana mayroon pa tayong a few you know, a few days mga, Kapuso, para at least kung naniniwala kayo sa pagpag, 'di ba parang by the time mag-2025...

MAXINE: Yes.

DOC ANNA: ...less burdens.

MAXINE: Correct.

DOC ANNA: Let's choose what we want to take with us to the new year, 'di ba?

MAXINE: Yes.

DOC ANNA: So thank you, Maxine for sharing with us today.

MAXINE: Thank you, Doc Anna.

DOC ANNA: With the end of 2024, kami rin sa Share Ko Lang ay magpapaalam.

After four years of sharing stories of emotional truths, of adversity, and of triumph, this will be our last episode.

Our team behind the scenes ay binubuo ng mga tao na ang simple hangarin ay magbigay insight na hindi natin madalas naririnig at mag-alok ng impormasyong makakatulong sa ating kapuwa Pilipino. Sana ay nakapagbigay linaw at ginhawa ang aming munting palabas whose episodes will remain available online. Once again, thanks for sharing, mga Kapuso.