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7 things I learned after traveling solo for the first time
I was about to turn 40 and I wanted to do something big and brave, so I decided I was going to travel solo for the first time.
I was that person who rarely ventured out on my own, whenever I travel with family or friends. I was always afraid to get lost or lose track of my companions. I was a little embarrassed that I had almost made it to 40 without having traveled on my own.
So scared as I was, I wanted to force myself to do it.
That’s not to say I was resolute: I teetered between being determined to fly out and canceling my plans altogether. Weeks before the trip, when it appeared as if I wasn’t going to be able to travel due to a minor hiccup, I’m ashamed to admit I was a little relieved. I shrugged and thought to myself, “Hey, at least I tried, right?”
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But by the grace of a power higher than me, everything fell into place one week before the schedule trip and before I knew it, I was headed to Seoul.
I chose a destination that I loved and I’ve been to before, somewhere safe and familiar; a place that felt like a very wide safety net.
But I hyper-prepared nevertheless. Aside from saving the sites I wanted to visit on Google Maps like I always do, I checked the metro routes before I even flew out of the country. I prepared my medicine kit like I was volunteering for Doctors Without Borders. I checked and rechecked all my documents.
When I landed at Incheon Airport, I spent a good hour inside, just trying to get my bearings straight, just trying to calm my nerves. I took my time, even had dinner there. And when I realized I couldn’t spend the entire trip inside the airport, I finally made my way out.
I came for an adventure, and ready or not, I was going to have it.
I learned so much about myself and life during my first solo trip, lessons that have stuck with me, reshaped me, and given me the confidence I didn’t know I was seeking. Here are a few—schmaltzy and practical—I picked up from the first time I traveled on my own.
1. Google Maps will assure you that you don’t have to know everything
Google Maps, after all, is your friend. It has really made travel — and solo travel in particular — so much easier and less intimidating. It’s taken away a lot of my anxiety about getting lost or ending up in the DMZ. As long as you have the most rudimentary sense of direction, a WiFi connection and Google Maps, you’re good to go.
If you’re anything like me, keeping to the itinerary and rarely venturing away from known paths. Google Maps can be incredibly liberating. It gives you the power to decide where you want to go and the confidence to wander.
Girl from the tropics coming through! (Spring my ass.) ???? #AMAGoSeoulo
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It’ll teach you to be self-reliant and very simply, to navigate your way around a city on your own. That’s pretty empowering! It turns out, sometimes, all you need to conquer your fears is the right tool.
Here’s a tip: Save the destinations you want to visit on Google Maps before your trip. That way, you can plan a day’s itinerary depending on which sites are clustered together on the map. This keeps you from wasting precious time—and commuter fare—by helping you avoid inadvertently having to travel from one side of town to another.
2 It’s okay to get lost
But even with Google Maps, you can still end up losing your way. Unwittingly getting on an express train, riding a bus headed the opposite way, or getting the wrong directions from well-meaning locals could all throw you for a loop—literally. And yes, that all happened to me.
Getting lost will teach you that you can always retrace your steps and find your way back (there’s a metaphor for life in there somewhere). It’s not like you can’t get off the wrong train or bus, ask for help, or if all else fails, hail a cab.
And sometimes, getting lost is actually the best thing that can happen to you. I’ve discovered firsthand that it’s the surest way to discover a place that’s off the beaten path.
During my first solo trip, it started raining as I was trying to find my way out of Bukchon Village. It got so bad, I had to duck into a café and wait it out. I spent the time reading a book, drinking tea, and watching toddlers jumping in puddles just outside the window. It’s one of my favorite memories from that trip.
Another time, I got so lost while looking for a particular street that I decided to call it a day. I found a shortcut back to the train station, a narrow road lined with quaint shops and cafés. When I got to the end of it, I discovered that it was the street I had been looking for all along!
So feel free to lose your way. What you find may surprise you. And don’t worry too much, because you can always find your way back. (Told you there was a life metaphor there.)
3. You’ll learn to enjoy your own company
One of the downsides of traveling solo is that there’s just not enough room in your stomach to eat everything you want. And there’s nobody to share a meal with, so you’re either forced to eat an entire order by yourself or learn to be okay with leaving leftovers on the table (sorry, Mom!).
But there are upsides, too: You usually get seated faster when dining solo, which comes in handy when there’s a long queue. And you’ll learn to enjoy your own company. I’ve never been averse to eating by myself or feel self-conscious when I do, but I know some people are. When you have to eat every meal by your lonesome, you’ll see that it’s not as big a deal as you may make it out in your head.
Yes, I did get stares. One server looked like he felt sorry for me (maybe because he knew I wouldn’t be able to finish the meal?). But I didn’t really let it bother me. Truth is, you can’t, especially when you’re traveling alone. What’s the alternative? You’re not going to eat You’re not going to try all the delicious food? Unacceptable.
At the end of the day, who cares what other people think? So just relax and enjoy your bibimbap!
4 You’ll come out of your shell (like it or not)
And not just because you need to ask for directions. I shared a laugh with a Singaporean who was as clueless as I was about what we were eating at a stall in Gwangjang market. It didn’t become a lasting friendship, but it was nice to have a moment with someone other than me, myself, and I.
I have friends who keep in touch with people they connect with on their solo travels, and even form meaningful relationships with them. I’m not at that level yet, but I look forward to the day that I am. For now though I’m happy that solo travel has made starting conversations with complete strangers easier.
Traveling solo may be an opportunity to get in touch with yourself, but it doesn’t mean you have to keep to yourself all the time. When you travel with people you know, you end up interacting with just the people in your group. On the flip side, when you’re on your own so much, you become more open to meeting new people and making connections. Or at least you have more opportunities to interact with people you don’t know and people you just met.
5 You’re going to care less about what other people think
I can be such a timid traveler. Afraid to stick out, offend, or make a fool of myself, I’d rather miss out on doing something than put myself out there. Traveling solo, I had to get over that quickly.
Not knowing how to get off a bus, for example, I’d rather watch and learn quietly, even at the risk of missing my stop, than actually ask people how to do it. Or I’d rather not be in photos than whip out a selfie stick.
During my trip to Seoul, I would get funny looks whenever I’d set up my selfie stick/tripod for a photo, but I just endured it. See below:
It was embarrassing posing by myself for myself (I cringe just writing about it), but it didn’t kill me. And I got the picture I wanted!
People are going to look at you funny or roll their eyes at you, but so what? You do you. I don’t mean to be a brash, careless, or disrespectful tourist. But maybe be a little bit braver and give a little less f—s about what others are going to think of you. Just have fun!
And when it comes to selfie sticks, just be respectful, responsible, and make sure you don’t bother anyone else or poke anyone’s eye out.
6 You’ll develop a greater appreciation for the people you travel with
Traveling solo can be empowering, but it can also get lonely. Full disclosure: I cried almost every night the first time I traveled on my own.
I missed having a travel buddy—someone to laugh with when I trip on the sidewalk (True story. I looked pathetic laughing by myself.), to go halfsies on cab fares and sandwiches, to shop with, and to discover new places with. Even to argue with!
Your solo trip will make you more patient with your travel companions the next time you fly out with friends or family, and appreciate their company more.
Sure, it can be a drag to share one bathroom or hear them whine about one thing or another, but you’ll be thankful to have someone to giggle with, point out something beautiful that caught your eye to, or just have someone to take your damn picture for Instagram.
7 You’ll get hooked on traveling solo
A friend told me before I left for Seoul that some people are built for solo travel and some are not. And if you’re not, that’s okay.
I thought I was part of team latter, but after the trip, there were two things that became clearer to me: I may prefer to travel with a companion, but I also enjoy traveling alone. In fact now, I try to squeeze in a solo trip every year!
The year after traveling to Seoul solo, I stayed in Vancouver for a month—all on my own. And I wasn’t as scared anymore. I loved that my schedule and itinerary weren’t dependent on anyone else, that I could change my plans and no one would be inconvenienced, sign up for yoga classes, or spend an entire afternoon at a park and nobody would complain.
I actually enjoy the solitude of traveling solo. It gives me time to pause and think, and just be myself. I think we are so many things to so many people all the time, we lose track of who we are for ourselves. Being on your own can help you return to yourself.
But the best part about traveling solo, for me, is that it keeps forcing me to step outside my comfort zone, which is a big deal for someone who often has to be dragged out of their comfort zone kicking and screaming. — LA, GMA News
