Kelvin Miranda details experiences prior to Bipolar Disorder diagnosis

(Trigger warning: mentions of self-harm, mental health struggles.)

Kelvin Miranda looked back on the experiences he had before seeking professional help and getting diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder.

In an interview on “#JustIn” hosted by Paolo Contis, the Kapuso actor said that he got himself checked after his role in “The Lost Recipe.” Kelvin played Harvey, a perfectionist yet arrogant chef.

Kelvin said he was not able to break out of character and it has affected his home life.

“Pati 'yung ermat ko, kino-correct ko na siya sa kusina, pero sa kanya ako natuto magluto,” he said. “Tapos lagi ako nananaginip nasa cooking show ako.”

His mom also noticed that for two weeks, Kelvin would talk to himself about cooking and was a perfectionist in the kitchen.

Kelvin would also feel like he is still working even while at home, hearing words like “cut” and looking for cameras. He would even say, “Okay po. Sorry direk,” after waking up from dreams.

He started making impulsive decisions as well and would break down following realizations.

“Ganun ako eh, nag-so-solo tapos nag-iisip ng mga bagay bagay,” he said. “Tapos sabi ko dati, ganito naman talaga ako eh, pero bakit nahihirapan akong lampasan ngayon 'yun? Hindi siya normal sa ‘kin.”

Kelvin also admitted that he would get violent but only toward himself, saying that he used to self-harm. “Minsan, na-hi-hit ko 'yung sarili ko. May mga dark thoughts talaga ko na minsan 'yung impulsive driving ko, gusto ko nalang ibangga 'yung kotse ko.”

To combat that, Kelvin records himself on his phone, and talks like he’s having a conversation with someone. He is also thankful that he still has awareness.

“Pinagpapasalamat ko 'yun na parang, di pa rin talaga ako totally nawala kasi aware pa ‘ko eh. Tapos ayun tinatanong ko lang, ‘normal ba 'yung ganto? Normal ba 'yung ganyan?’ Di siya normal.”

Kelvin was concerned about his well-being, and decided to have a check-up. He was diagnosed with Bipolar I, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dyslexia, and Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

The actor said that based on a psychiatrist’s explanation, Bipolar I is a severe mental health condition. “Kumbaga 'yung mga emotions namin ng mga Bipolar I, parang hindi ka napupunta dun sa middle. If pupunta ka sa highest, highest talaga. And then bam, lowest. Lowest to highest and then highest to lowest.”

He added, “So 'pag na-trigger ka, mahihirapan kang manipulahin agad-agad. So talagang mag-ma-manifest siya sa buong katawan mo eh.”

Kelvin said that thanks to his self-awareness, he can expect triggers and can already think about ways to help himself.

Once Kelvin accepted his diagnosis, he was able to finally share it with his parents. The actor is also thankful that he is able to share his experiences with the people in his life.

“Wala ka namang mararating kung sasarilihin mo lang lahat ng bagay eh,” he said. “Kaya ka nga may pamilya eh, kaya ka may kaibigan eh. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na 'yun lang 'yung purpose, pero 'yun 'yung essence ng family and friends. Nandiyan sila para sa ‘yo, bakit hindi mo buksan 'yung sarili mo.”

The Philippines has various mental health hotlines such as the ones from the National Center for Mental Health: 0966-351-4518 (Globe/TM), 0917-899-8727 (Globe/TM), or 0908-639-2672 (Smart/Sun/TNT). —JCB, GMA Integrated News