Maxene Magalona opens up about mental health during lockdown

Maxene Magalona didn’t shy away from talking about the state of her mental health amid the lockdown measures.

On Wednesday, the actress shared a black-and-white photo of herself as she lied down on her pillows.

Maxene, who was able to go out every day when she stayed in Bali, Indonesia, said the photo was taken when she returned to Manila and experienced being quarantined for the first time.

“I tried to go about my days as normally as I could and just continued with my daily routine. I even made a schedule of things to do that would keep me busy and productive. Being the ‘strong, independent woman’ that I am, I was determined to keep the situation under control,” she said.

However, things didn’t go according to plan as she started getting migraines and her body began to “physically collapse.”

“I started getting emotional and instead of holding back my tears, I just allowed them to come. Gradually, the emotions that I had been keeping bottled up inside of me for God knows how long started to surface,” she said.

When she was younger, Maxene said she would run away and deny what she was feeling.

“I turned to partying and alcohol to numb myself from feelings of anxiety, fear and pain,” she said.

“Now, being in lockdown leaves me no choice but to face and sit with the discomfort. Although this can be quite terrifying and painful, I actually welcome it so that I can hold space for my emotions and allow them to flow through me,” she added.

“I’ve built a wall around my heart for so long, trying to be tough and protect myself from becoming vulnerable only to find out that it takes true strength and courage to feel all my feelings.”

Because topics like these weren’t normally brought up online, Maxene said she wanted to be honest and honor her “sadness and grief.”

“I choose to be honest and honor my sadness and grief as I understand that in order to live in our truth, we must accept the entire spectrum of life. We must allow ourselves to feel all our emotions and not just the ‘good’ ones because we wouldn’t even know what ‘good’ feels like if not for what makes us feel ‘bad,’” she said.

This isn’t the first time Maxene opened up about her mental health struggles. Last year, the actress opened up about experiencing symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder. – Kaela Malig/RC, GMA News