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Jaymee Joaquin opens up about cancer, winning her life back, and writing her first book
In 2016, Jaymee Joaquin was just like most 30-somethings living their best life. After extensively traveling through Australia, Spain and the rest of Europe, the actress, model and TV was getting her groove on, having decided to settle down in San Diego the previous the year.
Then sometime in September, after a long productive day out, Jaymee was savouring her shower in her San Diego home when she discovered a marble-sized lump on her left breast, between her nipple and her armpit.
It turned out to be Stage 2A breast cancer.
Her doctor told her it was "treatable and possibly curable," making her think it would be a short ride to recovery. But little did Jaymee know that it would be a long and gruelling battle.
It didn't help that she was in a foreign country, and away from her immediate family, battling something so persistent it would recur four times.
Five years later, the 41-year-old Jaymee is not quite out of the woods yet. Her cancer has recurred four times, she's gone through three surgeries, and yet, strangely, Jaymee says she's living her best life yet!
She's added blogging, podcasting, and on-cam talent in her long list of skills, and is about to add one more: a published author.
In her first book, "That Sh*t Called Cancer," Jaymee shares her experiences on how she's been winning back her life and offers support and inspiration to those who are going to fight against that sh*t called cancer.
Jaymee shared with GMA News Online how cancer has changed her perspective in life, on how she has been and is still winning in life, and her book "That Sh*t Called Cancer: A Not-So-Subtle Guide To Winning Your Life Back."
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
How are you now?
As of writing this, I just had my routine scan last week and it shows that everything is still stable so I'm feeling beyond grateful and relieved! I've also been so excited about the book finally coming out so yes, life is looking good so far. Thank God!
Can you tell us how "That Sh*t Called Cancer" came about?
I've worked hard for this book, so to say that I'm super excited is an understatement. I wrote this at the peak of the pandemic, while coming in and out of the hospital for surgeries thinking this could be my final legacy.
So to make all of this come to life while my health is doing okay is so fulfilling! I'm looking forward to how it can inspire, uplift and empower anyone in the similar journey.
What would you like readers to take away from your book?
That the term WINNING is a daily choice you have to make in envisioning life and healing. Oftentimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves to achieve more, do more, prove more.
And we think WINNING means you become cancer-free or you've won a major award or finished a difficult marathon. When it can be as simple as choosing to get your little tasks done for the day, showing up to your treatments even if you're scared, or taking care of yourself when your body requests for it.
I aim for my readers to realize that self-sabotaging thoughts do come around but they can be counteracted with a WINNING affirmations that still lets them thrive and keep on.
Being diagnosed with cancer is another-level tough. How did you manage it?
I'd give credit to my strength and independence from growing up in a broken family so I was forced at a young age to navigate the crazy world psychologically on my own.
That also explains why I've always been a go-getter because somehow, I feel like I have something to prove to the world since I didn't really get that validation I was looking for at home.
And not to forget, my endless solo travels in my 30s that solidified my self-reliance expertise. Plus, being born in a "developing" country," the Philippines where we have no choice but to be resilient to survive! So ironically, yes. All of these definitely prepared me to deal with that sh*t called cancer.
But how about death? How did you process that?
It took awhile for me to get comfortable talking about death. But I realized, after getting diagnosed and with the pandemic that suddenly happened out of the blue in 2020, that there is no guarantee in life. The only guarantee is right NOW at this very moment. So we gotta make the most out of it and grab it by the balls.
What did you learn after your cancer diagnosis?
I used to believe that you have full control over life. When you're young, you feel invincible and the world is your oyster.
But after having a diagnosis, I did realize that you can adjust the sails of your boat but you can't control the direction of the wind.
And learning this the hard way made me approach cancer and other difficulties as something that can just happen to anyone at any time.
But the question is what are you going to do about it? So now, I've learned to just control what I can and accept what I cannot. Oh, and playing the victim card only worsens the situation. It's much better to be proactive and do what you can to make your situation better even if the circumstances aren't ideal.
Did the diagnosis turned you into a hater?
Some people are lucky to be born with a nurturing, supportive environment where they were honed to believe in themselves, guided to discover their strengths and constantly be reminded that they are loved. Hence, they thrived early on.
But for some, like me, I had to find and nurture it. It took me a long time to build that confidence but the thing is, I didn't stop seeking it. I kept on focusing on what I'm good at and improving the points where I'm not.
Self-improvement is a never ending journey. Winning is a day-to-day choice. And resiliency is developed by constantly experiencing life hurdles that you get better at tackling it with each blow. And that gives you confidence each time. Because you gain experience.
So keep living and learning! Give yourself a pat in the back with every little improvement along the way. And love yourself in the learning process. One day, you'll look back and realize how far you've gone.
How did it change you? We mean, your hopes and dreams for instance.
Before the diagnosis, my idea of my purpose was very ego-based: Be famous in Hollywood, marry a rich husband who will spoil me and live a life of hedonism.
After the diagnosis, I still aim to be abundant but it's because of the desire to give back to life. Now, it's very clear to me that God made me walk the path of the road less travelled because my purpose is unique than most women: It's to give hope to people. To see the light in the dark, to inspire to keep moving forward even with baby steps and to never, ever give up on your faith, yourself and on life even when sh*t hits the fan.
And your dating life? How did your cancer diagnosis affect it?
I am currently actively dating right now and one of them seems to be turning out as my "constant."
Although it's still too early to tell, it's good to know that there are still good men out there and that intimacy is still possible even in your early 40s while dealing with a diagnosis.
It just gave me so much hope that dating, flirtation and sex doesn't have to end just because you have a diagnosis.
If this sh*t called cancer didn't happen, do you think you would be able to find this side of yourself?
Not at all! Even if I see myself as an independent free-spirited Filipina cancer survivor, I was still born from a comfortable life in the Philippines. So I don't really know what real psychological and physical hardship meant until cancer came along.
I had to go through treatments while being far away from family and the comforts of home so it really tested my determination to live and to keep my faith in God. So if there's one gift that that sh*t called cancer gave me, is that it brought out the badass warrior in me and taught me to be empathetic with people's hardships.
Was there anything you wished you knew or did earlier?
I wish I loved myself fully, even before the diagnosis. Because I only truly learned about self-love from this experience. It's only now that I can confidently say that I found myself.
Before, I kept jumping off the hoops to please people, to prove something, to be enough, to be worthy.
So when cancer came, I had a long battle with self-hatred thinking I deserved it which made it all much more difficult for me to recover psychologically. So I'm glad I now know better. And that I've finally come to terms that I am imperfectly perfect and that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And that's okay. I'll still live and WIN anyway.
How does the future look for you?
I would like to write many more books! I want to produce a film or mini-series. I would like to travel some more. So far, I've visited 5 continents already... so I would love to complete it all and see South America and Antarctica!
And get involved in improving the cancer support and access to better care and treatment in the Philippines however way I can. I am blessed to be in America where treatment is efficient. I would want the same for the cancer patients in the Philippines. And of course, achieve the "no evidence of disease" status so I can live for many more decades to keep telling the tale and empower a bigger, wider audience.
I'm currently working on writing my second book, which is a memoir with the hopes to turn it into a film or mini-series. And hoping for a third one after that which is another self-help. But this time, more for general inspiration and upliftment. Praying to be given the time, resources and energy to fulfill them all! — LA, GMA News
Jaymee's new self-published book, "That Sh*t Called Cancer: A Not-So-Subtle Guide To Winning Your Life Back," has officially been launched on February 28, 2021. The book (Kindle and paperback) is now available on Amazon.
