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Steve Dailisan on getting laid off, dealing with the loss, and starting all over again
Steve Dailisan is among those who lost his job as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic and the lockdowns put in place to combat the spread of the virus.
He was just at the beginning his career as pilot, too — his dream job, as we all know — after working as a GMA reporter for more than 12 years.
But 10 months into his dream job, Steve learned he was let go.
"I got the idea sometime in the last week of May. I knew that I could be one of those who will be let go because of the 'last in first out' policy," Steve told GMA News Online.
He said he successfully kept it together, when they were being told in a video conference. "After which, parang nag-vlog ako and then I cried," he admitted.
In this interview, which has been edited for length an clarity, Steve told us how he coped, how the retrenchment made him second-guess a life decision, and finally how he landed a new job as the public affairs manager of Air Asia.
How are you now?
Right now I’m doing good, perfectly fit, thank God. I’m in the process of absorbing everything. I surpassed the difficult times, well a portion of it, kasi we’re still in a pandemic. I’m still getting by.
When did you learn that you were being let go?
I got the idea sometime in the last week of May and I knew that I could be one of those who will be let go because of the “last in, first out” policy.
So what I did after knowing or learning, ano kaagad ako, I immediately updated my CVs. Laging ready eh (laughs). I think nakuha ko ‘yan sa pagiging reporter, na parang before something bad happens prepared ka na to do something, from Plan A to Plan Z.
How did they tell you and how did you react?
I thought I have prepared for the worst. ‘Yung CVs ko naka-farm out na sa lahat ng companies na pwedeng pagtrabahuhan, na merong opportunity.
When the news came in, when we were told during a teleconference, a video conference, I kept it together until after we finished the video conference. After which, parang nag-vlog ako and then I cried.
After crying, I said to myself, ‘Sige, okay na ulit tayo.’ But then after a few days, weeks dumaan ulit ako dito sa airport area, and I saw our aircraft parked doon sa bay, and parang nalungkot ulit ako, and then I started crying.
Ang hirap. I live near the airport, so may times na nakikita kong may nagta-take off and landing, parang ang bigat lagi ng feeling. Tas maya-maya — hindi naman ako iyakin, pero maiiyak talaga ako. Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling. First time ko 'to na-experience.
There were times, there were days that I didn't want to — alam mo ‘yun? I’m awake, gising ako, but I don’t want to get up. It’s just too heavy to bear. Na-feel ko talaga na I was so weak and I was so vulnerable.
This is really painful for me and I know marami sa mga kababayan natin lalo na co-pilots ko, naka-experience ng ganu'ng feeling. The only consolation I think na meron is because kahit papano, nakapag-prepare ako nang konti.
Experience ko of being retrenched, talagang, it’s the first time na naranasan ko sa buong professional career ko. I started working with GMA, 'di 'ba 12 years ako diyan? I spent two years as a consultant of the Communications division [for the Department of Transportation] and, short lived ‘yung dream ko of being a pilot.
Because I looked at it as my long-term career, na parang I would stay with them until retirement, alam mo ‘yun? But I understand because, wala eh. COVID happened. And now, we just need to adapt and still find a reason, a meaning to appreciate what you have.
The pandemic has made a lot of us extra anxious. Did losing your dream job add to this anxiety?
Had it been a different time, had it been walang pandemic, parang it could’ve been easier — because I can do hostings, I can go back to teaching. Probably puwede ako bumalik sa media or join another airline company, parang ganun. Ang dami sanang opportunity but given the current situation parang ang hirap. Nakasara ka sa iisang box na very limited din ‘yung space doon to move.
So how are you dealing with the loss?
When COVID started, when the lockdown started, I lost weight — parang around 25 pounds, because I was just taking my time, nagwo-workout, ganyan. But when
the retrenchment was handed to me, parang officially nag-gain ako ng five, 10 pounds. Ang na-gain ko kasi, parang kain ka na lang. I think that was my way of coping up.
During that time, ang ginawa ko, mas sinipagan pa ako mag-follow up ng mga job applications ko, interviews.
Was it difficult to accept?
I prayed for an accepting heart and a mind that is enthusiastic to look for another job, to look for another opportunity.
It’s difficult talaga. Even my pilot friends, we were talking and all of us were crying. We were sharing our stories about how it’s a short-lived experience for all of us. But all of us are thankful.
It’s something that you really have to accept wholeheartedly, no matter how difficult it is.
It’s like breaking up eh. When you’re in a relationship and then it is really something good, you feel that it’s really for the long-term. Eventually you get married in due time, and all of a sudden, the relationship was cut and then you don’t have any control of it. You’re not even in a position to bargain for yourself or at least find a leverage.
Wala eh. You just have to accept it.
You chose becoming a pilot over journalism. Amid the loss, did you feel that maybe it was a wrong decision?
To be honest, I asked myself a few times. Sabi ko, ‘Did I really make the right decision when I joined the aviation sector?’
And then I go back to the reason why I wanted to become a pilot. I want to be an instrument to happy reunions. I came from a broken family and each year we were moving from one place to another. I’ve experienced being separated from my family parang Grade 1 Manila, Grade 2 Zamboanga, Grade 3 Aklan.
So flying or moving from one place to another is an opportunity for me to be reunited with my family. That’s why, maybe that’s my root cause why I really wanted to become a pilot.
If I’m able to fulfill that, if I’m able to fulfill other's dream of being reunited with their family safe and comfortable and fun, then I think I’m fulfilling my mission here on Earth.
How are you taking care of yourself now — both emotionally and mentally?
I find time to talk to my friends and tell them how I feel. It’s important that you do this, it’s important that you tell them how you feel, that you talk to your trusted friends, to your family and tell them how you feel so that they could tell you na, ‘huy, Steve this is not the way you should be thinking’ parang ganun.
Medyo religious din kasi ako na tao, so I find time to talk to my spiritual adviser, and then I got the chance to visit St. Jude, ‘yung mga ganun.
Find time to reflect. 'Wag mo pabayaan ‘yung mental health mo because it is very important and maraming vulnerable sa depression during this time, so just take care of your mental health and eat the right amount of food.
It's difficult but please find that inspiration to move forward. Ako kasi I want to believe na there’s an end to this. This is just temporary. Sobrang advance ng science natin, and everyone is working to find a cure and a vaccine, so I’m looking forward to that day, when we can all take off our masks and live normally.
It’s more of a vision that I see na parang I look forward to that someday very very soon, that we will all be back to our normal lives again and enjoy travelling, enjoy family time, ‘yung pagma-mall, alam mo ba ‘yung mga simple things like that. I’m sure lahat tayo nami-miss natin ‘yun.
So ‘yun nalang nilo-look forward ko na parang there’s an end to this. We just don’t know when but there is an end to this so we should all look forward to that.
How did you progress from ‘having a hard time standing up’ to ‘sige, magsipag tayo'?
It’s a natural system in my body or in my DNA. I need to feel the pain to move on, so when AirAsia called, sari ko, ‘maybe it’s time. I need to fix myself and get back to my own self, get back to your fighting stance kasi nadapa ka talaga nang malaki eh.’
And then when the opportunity was presented to me sabi ko, ‘wow’ — although I wouldn’t be flying anytime soon because of the situation.
Tell us about your new job!
So right now, since I’m newly appointed as Public Affairs Manager for AirAsia, my primary goal is to provide our flying public the relevant information they direly need at the moment. They’re very welcoming. I appreciate all of them.
Long term-wise, I see myself flying. So my long-term plan is staying with AirAsia and do the role and at the same time fly with them — ‘yun ‘yung long-term plan ko.
And also, provide for my family because I’m the breadwinner in our family and that’s my only goal and probably have a family soon. ‘Yun ‘yung isa sa gusto ko na rin mangyari sa buhay ko, but now I live one day at a time.
It’s actually difficult to be planning something right now to be honest, kasi we don’t know what’s gonna happen. Kaya tayo, we live one day at a time just so we survive.
Any advice for people dealing with numerous kinds of loss these days?
It’s difficult, I understand. It’s a difficult situation and believe me when I say na there’s no easy way to cope with a loss but you have to feel the pain for you to move on.
And I think what helped me during the most crucial time, it helps to cry. It would help if you would admit, that you would accept yourself na this happened and I have no control over it so sabi ko nga sa post ko, ‘Cry if you must’ because ako i cried a lot.
Let it all out. That’s the only way for you to maybe accept and siguro unburden yourself of the pain and of the weight. I think that’s the best advice i could give them.
And find someone, a friend, a family member so you could find comfort in them. During these trying times, ‘yun na lang talaga because we only have each other. Parang ang daming nawala sa atin and the sad part is we can’t do anything about it other than feel it and accept and look forward to the day this ends. — LA, GMA News
