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Claudine Barretto opens up about having panic disorder
On Instagram recently, Claudine Barretto laid to rest the rumours about her alleged mental disorder by posting a photo of herself with her psychiatrist Dr. Babes Manalo.
“Yes, I do see a psychiatrist,” read a portion of her caption.
A post shared by Claudine Barretto (@claubarretto) on
On Sunday on "Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho," the actress admitted to having been diagnosed with a panic disorder in 2002.
“I just felt na parang mamamatay ako. Hindi ako makahinga, parang I was sinking. I was drowning tapos parang lumiliit 'yung kwarto, nagko-cold sweats ako tapos hihimatayin….There were days na feeling ko na parang 'Oh my god. I’m going crazy,'” Claudine said in her interview.
According to Dr. Manalo, anxiety disorders, where panic disorder falls under, are actually very common. It is one of many psychiatric or mental disorders that plague people.
“It’s common to both man and woman. We have triggers initially, then after that…minsan dumadating lang siya. That is the reason why medication [is important]. Importante din talaga na nagpapatingin,” said Dr. Manalo.
For Claudine, her panic disorder was the result of stress from work, the death of her boyfriend, and the shame of it all.
“I was working every single day because I wanted to tire myself para pag-uwi ko, tulog na lang. Hindi ko na maiisip 'yung pagkamatay ni Rico,” said Claudine, admitting she never really got to grieve the death of her ex-boyfriend Rico Yan.
“Hanggang ngayon, dala-dala ko because I never really grieved. I just kept working and working. Hindi pa ako talagang nakapag-rest para umiyak, up to this day,” continued Claudine.
Dr. Manalo added that guilt may have also been a factor for Claudine. “The feeling na wala kang nagawa. You feel guilty that you didn’t give your best to someone whom you really cared for. So all that [dinala ni Claudine]. ‘I’m not allowed to let them [the public] see how I feel, kasi meron kang certain image that you have to protect.”
Claudine mentioned how it was the late director Wenn Deramas who urged her to see a psychiatrist. During a taping, she was having what she’d later on learn as a panic attack. It was Deramas who told her, “'Parang iba na.' Tapos sabi ko, 'I’ll just go to my room, iinom lang ako ng water'.”
Deramas followed her and found a pale Claudine. When she started pacing around her room, the director asked what was going on. “'Hindi ko alam', sabi ko. Tapos biglang ayun na. I started crying. I couldn’t breathe.
"Akala ko mamamatay na ako, parang magkaka-heart attack 'yung feeling... Sabi ni direk, magpatingin na ako.”
Claudine said it would begin as a two-minute attack that would stretch to five minutes, until it would explode into a full-blown panic attack.
Another time, Claudine recalled that the panic attack was so severe that she thought she was already going to jump off a building. She explained, "Because hindi ko alam paano ako pupunta sa emergency room at i-eexplain sa tao or sa doctors doon na parang pakiramdam ko I’m sinking. I’m drowning. Nakakahiya.”
There is no one-time big-time cure for panic disorders, though a one-two punch of medication and treatment can greatly help, according to Dr. Manalo. Claudine herself went through several doctors before finding the one she was most comfortable with.
She had been seeing Dr. Manalo for a few years already, when the worst attack happened to her. “It was two years ago. Sabi ko, ‘Doc, I think I’m dying. I cannot breathe anymore.”
Dr. Manalo employed what they call ‘grounding’ — you ask the patient to look and name five things around her. Then, you assure her that everything’s okay. You guide her into breathing deeply.
It is important for a patient to calm down as panic attacks often occur in situations when the patient feels like he/she doesn't have any control.
Dr. Manalo also emphasized the need for actors to take care of themselves and for fans to be considerate whenever their idols go through a rough patch. “We have to remember that they are human beings. They are capable of going down the ladder.”
Claudine said she posted about seeing a psychiatrist — and agreeing to the interview — to let people know, especially those who are in a similar situation, that there is a way out.
“Nagamit na to ito against me. Ngayon, ang gusto ko talaga is to be able to help other people. May solution. There is a way out. Huwag mahiya and be compassionate towards each other.” — LA, GMA News
