Let's get together: The importance of family bonding

The family that plays together, stays together.

Sounds easy enough, right? But in this day and age of competitive job markets, rigorous education systems, and gadgetry growing niftier by the minute, the amount of time a family can spend together seems to be shrinking.

So what do you do when you’re running out of time? Why, you make it, of course.

Creative ways of making time

According to family counsellor Gilda Altez, making time for the family is a must in order to strengthen the ties between parents and children. Ideally, a family should be comfortable enough for its members to share bits of their lives beyond their home with each other, problems included.

“May marami palang problema ang mga bata na hindi nila ma-discuss sa kanilang parents,” she said in a video on GMA's Unang Balita. “Kasi…kinukwento na nila sa kanilang mga kaibigan. Eh, alam mo naman na pag kaibigan ang kinukwentuhan mo, hindi naman na-aaddress yung problema, ‘di ba?”



It doesn’t matter how you make time, so long as you do it and you are comfortable with how you do it. An example are these moms and daughters growing closer together through exercising and running marathons.

Former GMA reporter Richelle Sy-Kho, like many mothers, quit her job in order to raise her children.

The role of marriage and equality

But before you start thinking the burden of keeping a family close lies on the mother, think again.

Antonio P. Contreras’s “Of parenting and flawed citizenry” opines that fathers should play active roles in the lives of their children just as much as mothers and other women in the family do. He equates the distance and the silent stability offered by fathers in a typically patriarchal Pinoy household to an authority to be given one’s obedience, not affection, and may even stunt the civic growth of the children.

Strengthening family ties also applies to the marriage that began the family, which is item number two in “The 10 commandments for parenting.” Developmental psychologist Dr. Thomas Lickona believes that good marriages equate to better parenting, and that it is more important for couples to have regular conversations. To riff off a popular saying, “If the parents ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Lack of money not a hindrance

If budget constraints are a hindrance to family bonding time, don’t continue to let it be so. Altez said that the bonding occurs even when performing household chores together.

“Doon naki-create yung closeness, yung solidarity ng isang pamilya,” she said.

For Dr. Lickona, chores also cleanse any spoiled attitudes from the children. Age-effective work helps them to grow up into responsible adults and to feel pride in themselves (number three on the 10 commandments for parenting).

Picnicking at public parks, where there is no entrance fee, is another option. So is any recreational group activity on the weekends.

But if you really don’t want to leave the house, allot every dinnertime as family time. Forget the texting, calling, and e-mailing for a little while and partake in each other’s lives as you partake in the evening meal.

After all, the family that eats together—well, you get the point. — Vida Cruz/BM, GMA News