Meet Sharmaine Gonzales, a trans woman and a proud mother

Before she became a mother, trans woman Sharmaine Gonzales was going through life without any direction.

She was only 13 years old when she left home in search of a family, having felt no support from her own. By that time, she already knew she is a woman at heart.

With nowhere to go, Sharmaine wandered on the streets of Sta. Maria, Bulacan and eventually ended up on a park. As fate would have it, she met a gay man who offered her a place to stay and promised to help her.

"Sumama ako. Hindi ako natakot noong time na 'yon kasi ang hinahanap ko talaga si family," she said.

At the gay man's house, she met a trans woman who looked after them for a year. When the trans woman left for Canada, Sharmaine was left under the care of "Mamita Ace," whom she considers her second mom.

"Halos buong buhay ko, siya na halos 'yung nag-aruga [sa akin], sumuporta sa lahat. Nung dumating si Mamita sa buhay ko, sobrang laking pagbabago talaga. Tinuruan niya ako kung paano tumayo sa sariling paa," she said.

As the years passed by, however, Sharmaine still felt like there was something missing in her life.

While her chosen family helped her learn how to be independent, Sharmaine has so much love to give and yearned to build a family she can call her own.

That was when she decided to become a mother.

Sharmaine tried for a child with her partner, a trans man named Kit. She felt afraid that the hormones she was taking would affect their ability to conceive, but they were eventually blessed with a healthy baby girl they named Zia.

Now four years old, Zia is Sharmaine's pride and joy.

"Sobrang mahal na mahal ko siya. Lahat gagawin ko para sa kaniya," she said.

With Zia's arrival, Sharmaine's purpose became crystal clear: to provide for her, take care of her, and raise her well.

"Noong lumabas si Zia, doon na nabago, 'yong mindset ko na kailangan ko na talagang magtrabaho, kailangan kong magnegosyo. Hindi puwedeng lakad ka lang nang lakad," she said. 

"May responsibilidad na ako na hindi ko puwedeng takasan. So kailangan ko talagang kumilos. Kayod talaga nang kayod, 'yon ang pinakaimportante talaga na nagbago noong dumating si Zia sa buhay ko," Sharmaine added.

While Kit looks after Zia, Sharmaine is the breadwinner of their little family. She put up an online clothing business so they can provide their daughter's needs.

"Gumawa ako ng way para magkaroon ako ng business. Kasi kapag wala kang 300 or 500 sa bulsa, hindi mo mapapakain 'yong isang bata. Lahat ng dapat pagkakitaan, pinagkakakitaan ko talaga," Sharmaine said.

For Zia, everything is worth it.

"Makita mo lang siya kahit pagod na pagod ka. Makita mo lang siya, mawawala talaga 'yong problema."

Sharmaine is aware that Zia will face challenges in life with both her parents part of the LGBT community. She fears for her daughter, but she is also determined to give her the tools to navigate the world.

"Kailangan ko siyang pag-aralan sa sarili ko kung paano ko siya i-ga-guide. Kung paano ko ipapaunawa at ipapaintindi sa kaniya na mayroon siyang ganitong mga magulang. Na kahit ganito, 'yong magulang niya, normal pa rin. Tumatayong normal at nagiging magulang sa kaniya. Na iyon ang pinaka-importante," she said.

"It's not about the criticism; it's how you handle them," the Bulakenya continued.

And when—not if—the time comes that Zia has to square her shoulders and handle people who mock her for her parentage, Sharmaine has this advice for Zia. 

"Kailangan maging matapang ka, kailangan lumaban ka sa hamon ng buhay," she said. "'Wag mo pansinin kung sino 'yung mga nang-aapi, nang-aasar sa 'yo kasi darating 'yung panahon mauunawaan nila 'yung kung ano 'yung kinatatayuan mo. Na kahit may nanay ka na transger, kahit may tatay ka na trans man, walang masama sa pagkakaroon ng magulang na ganun hangga't wala kang tinatapakang tao."

Sharmaine also said that as early as now, she is starting to explain to Zia that her mom is transgender. 

"Sinasabi ko sa kaniya na kahit transgender ako, ako 'yung gumawa sayo. Sa akin ka nanggaling pero babae si Mommy. Babae 'yong puso ni Mommy, babae 'yong isip ni Mommy. Babae, 'yong kilos ni Mommy na nakulong lang sa katawan ng isang lalaki," she said.

And if one day Zia realizes that she is also a part of the LGBT community, Sharmaine said that she will accept and support her daughter wholeheartedly, because that is what a parent should do.

"Kung ano man 'yong gusto niya, susuportahan ko siya. Lahat gagawin ko para sa kaniya. Kung kailangang sumali siya sa Binibining Pilipinas, go!" Sharmaine said.

"Tatanggapin ko siya, susuportahan ko siya sa kung ano ang gusto niya. Kasi ang purpose natin na mga magulang, tanggapin kung ano ang gusto ng mga anak natin," she said. "Susuportahan natin kung ano ang gusto nila, kung ano ang hilig nila, o kung ano man ang gender na gusto nila paglaki nila."