8 months postpartum, Kris Bernal admits she misses her old life: 'It's not all rainbows and butterflies'

Kris Bernal couldn’t help but turn emotional as she opened up about her struggles as a first-time mom.

The actress spoke to Dr. Anna Tuazon in an interview on “Share Ko Lang,” where the two first-time moms talked about postpartum anxiety. According to Kris, she didn’t know that motherhood would be this hard for her.

 “The pregnancy was easy. Hindi ako sakitin and then safe delivery naman ako. Everything was smooth naman. But then, hindi ko na-expect na ganito pala kahirap ‘yung fourth trimester. And that, I wasn’t prepared. Parang, akala ko madali,” she said.

[The pregnancy was easy. I’m not sickly and I had a safe delivery. Everything was smooth. But then, I didn’t expect that the fourth trimester would be hard. And that I wasn’t prepared. I thought it was easy.]  

Kris said that she thought everything would become smoother once the baby arrived.

“But then, there’s so much to consider and there’s so much to learn. Ang habang proseso pa pala nung kailangan kong matutunan. So, nahirapan talaga ako,” she said.
 
[But then, there’s so much to consider and there’s so much to learn. The learning process actually takes a while. So, nahirapan talaga ako.]
 
She also admitted that she envies other moms who were able to return to their normal lives after giving birth.
 
“Pero ako, eight months na ako, ganito pa din 'yung feeling ko. Naihirapan pa din ako. Nalulungkot pa din ako. Minsan, umiiyak pa din ako. ‘Yung ganoon. ‘Yung hindi ko talaga ma-figure out kung ano nangyayari sa buhay ko,” she said.

[But me, it’s been eight months, but I still feel this way. I’m having a hard time. I feel sad. Sometimes, I cry. I really can’t figure out what’s happening to my life.]  
 
“Naiiyak tuloy ako. Kasi parang gusto ko mag-return talaga to the grind but hindi ko alam bakit hindi ako maka-return. ‘Yung parang hanggang ngayon hindi ako mabalik sa kung sino ako before. Hindi naman sa minamadali ko ah. Hindi ako nagmamadali,” Kris continued.

[I feel like crying. Because I really wanted to return to the grind but I don’t know why I can’t return. It’s like until now I can’t bring back who I was before. Not that I’m rushing, I’m not rushing.]  

The emotional Kris added that she soon decided she wanted to be very hands-on when it came to taking care of her baby.

“I guess ‘yun din ‘yung naging problem sa akin na wala akong mapagkatiwalaan na tao (that became the problem, I couldn’t trust anyone) to take care of my baby. That’s why I do it alone. I do everything alone,” she said.
 
Kris also opened up to Doc Anna that she cries every day.
 
“Namimiss ko talaga ‘yung dating ako, pero hindi naman, not because na, ano, I'm sharing this, or parang, I'm sharing the struggle, it doesn't mean talaga na, it doesn’t mean na I’m ungrateful, or parang, I regret this, or what,” she said.

“It’s just that, feel ko it’s okay to acknowledge din ‘yung hirap ng motherhood, na it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, it’s not colorful, ganyan. Talagang, may difficulties pa din,” Kris said.

[I really miss who I was before, but not because I’m sharing the struggle it doesn’t mean that I’m ungrateful or I regret this or what. It’s just that I feel like it’s okay to acknowledge the hardships of motherhood, that it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, it’s not colorful. Really, there are still difficulties.]  
 
Kris and her husband, Perry Choi, introduced their daughter, Hailee, through an Instagram Reel in August last year.
 
During her pregnancy, Kris kept her followers updated on her journey, including the hormones and changes in her body.
 
She said that although motherhood has been a challenge, she is constantly learning, growing, and adapting. —Carby Basina/CDC, GMA Integrated News