Sunshine Dizon opens up on split with Timothy Tan: 'Saan ako nagkulang?'

Sunshine Dizon opened up on her separation from husband Timothy Tan and how she handled their split over the years.

On "Fast Talk with Boy Abunda" on Monday, Sunshine said that she still loves Timothy but admitted that she is still healing from what happened to their marriage because she never dealt with the pain properly.

"I think the love, hanggang ngayon, di naman mawawala," she said. "But it's a different kind of love now. It's a love out of respect that he gave me two beautiful children, and I wouldn't have them if not for him."

Titoy Boy also asked her if she has forgiven him.

"Oo, kasi nakikita ko kung gaano siya kahusay na ama sa mga anak niya," she said. "Hindi, kasi may mga bagay pa rin na, to be honest, I was not able to process the pain when it happened. And I'm just learning to process all the pain right now."

"I'm the type of person who probably can forgive, but I will never, ever forget," she added.

Sunshine said their situation following their split was weird, as she and Tim were already separated but they were still living together under the same roof.

"Lumuhod ng asawa ko. Mamamatay daw siya na hindi niya kasama 'yung anak niya so pinagbigyan ko," she said. "I swallowed my pride because I wanted my kids to see that no matter what, nagkamali man ang tatay nila, pamilya pa rin kami."

Sunshine and Timothy's children, Anton and Doreen, were three and four years old back then.

The actress said she had chosen to focus on work and survive in the aftermath of their separation, but she began to process her feelings when the pandemic happened.

"Tim was my best friend. He was my confidante. He was my partner. And then, I just woke up one day and he was totally a different person. And that really hurts," she said.

"I was not able to deal with it properly. Ngayon lang bumabalik lahat na parang, ah, dapat pala di ako nag-refuse ng therapy nun. Dapat pala I dealt with it properly at the time when I had to."

Sunshine revealed last year that she has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, panic attacks, abandonment issues.

The actress said it took her eight years to begin processing the fact that she was hurt and angry.

"To this day, I still question myself somehow, where... saan ako nagkulang?" she said.

In January 2016, Sunshine filed cases of Violence Against Women and Children and Concubinage against Timothy and the alleged third party in their marriage. A year later, Sunshine filed an Affidavit of Desistance and withdrew the charges.

Sunshine is making her Kapuso comeback in the upcoming series "Mga Lihim ni Urduja."

—Kimberly Tsao/MGP, GMA Integrated News