GMA Brandtalk
Tracking
Archives
Joyce Pring has a tip on: spotting fake friends and what to do with them
Joyce Pring has a podcast on Spotify called "Adulting with Joyce Pring." On a recent episode, featuring her friend Aaron Atayde, the Kapuso host discussed how to spot fake friends and relationships and how to deal with them.
Here are a few pointers that Aaron and Joyce specified to spot insincere relationships. Listen to it here.
1. Fake friends are there for the perks
"They're not there for the friendship, they're there for the perks of the friendship," Aaron begins, adding, "We are a certain way when we're friends with people. For some people they are very generous [and so] a lot of people like to stick around with them — because of free food, free stuff or when they go out like 'oh sige magpapainom si ganyan ganyan. Sama natin siya'."
Joyce meanwhile notes that fake friends vanish when there are no more perks to be had.
"I think you will know that you don't have a sincere relationship with this person or...they're just there for the perks, [is] when they start to disappear when the going gets tough." Speaking of...
2. Fake friends disappear when the going gets tough
Joyce said she remembered how her so-called friends in college started to disappear when she hit rock bottom.
"When it became really difficult for me when I started to have a lot of problems, especially when I was having problems with my family and my career came up or wala akong pera bigla, biglang nagdi-disappear yung mga tao," Joyce said.
Aaron, on the other hand, said people were only praising him when he was on top, disappearing gradually when he reached a stable level.
"I think it was me realizing that there are some people that were front and center when I was on my, well this past year has been good to me so when I was on my way up, when I was doing very well, they were sincere and you could tell that they were there cheering you on and now that it's kinda coasting and I reached a certain level of comfort, it's not there anymore," Aaron shared.
RELATED: When friendships break, or how I learned to be a better friend in my 30s
3. Fake friends are haters in disguise
"There are people that will, they are right there, they'll still be following you on Instagram, 'hey ang ganda mo girl' but behind your back they are talking so much trash about you," Aaron said.
Aaron said these people stay friends with you because they are waiting for your down fall.
"The reason why they are friends with you [is] because they wanna see and be up close with any potential failures that you might have."
4. Fake friends give passive aggressive remarks
Most fake friends give passive aggressive comments when big events happen in your life. They would give snide remarks that sometimes feel like it's 50 percent compliment and 50 percent critical.
"I'm kinda experiencing that now. I feel like kasi there's this person that keeps sliding into my DM as in supposedly girl friend ko siya from work and every time that I post something that is Juancho-related or work related as in 'grabe girl, grabe your schedule' and she doesn't really care about what I'm doing but she always has this snide back-handed compliment every time whenever something big comes up," Joyce shares her experience.
Joyce said these kinds of friends "don't really care much about the process in which you are trying to figure yourself out or trying to create your craft, but they only just focus on kinda playing on your highlights."
Aaron said passive aggressiveness is how these haters put out their cynicism.
"That is their way of kind putting their negativity out at you but not completely being negative about it. It's the most passive aggressive way of doing it than they need to say something because of their insecurities," he said.
How to deal with them
Aaron said whether it's a relationship, friendship or work relationship, one has to "deal with it first with curiosity before judgement."
Joyce said one has to first look internally before acting out on the certain fake friend.
"You can't control how people act and how they are but you can control the way that you respond to things and to relationships. I think what Aaron is really getting at is before you act on the other person, you have to act upon yourself," she said.
She added and said that "thinking with your head and your heart together" will help your response to become both "empathetic and intelligent."
But when it's someone who you work with and have to deal with on a regular basis, Joyce advises to "just stay on your lane and do your job."
She added, "As long as this person is not blatantly keeping you from being able to deliver in the way that you should be delivering in a manner that you are expected to, there's no reason for you to confront or be angry with this person."
Aaron added, "If you can do everything without even having to confront them, if you can do your job and complete your task and you can do everything your boss asks you without having a confrontation, try that first because that is something that will not cause any problem in the office dynamic." — LA, GMA News
