3 Filipinas open up about abuse, violence caused by their partners

In the Philippines, violence against women and children remains prevalent.

In a study released by the National Demographic and Health Survey conducted by the Philippine Statistics Authority in 2022, the data showed that 17.5% of Filipino women aged 15 to 49 have suffered from “any form of physical, sexual, and emotional violence” from their partners.

In the latest episode of “Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho,” three Filipino women opened up about their experiences with an abusive partner.

“Chari,” a woman from San Jose del Monte City in Bulacan, shared her story of being physically abused by her partner.

According to “Chari,” her partner was drunk when she was hit. Since their son witnessed the incident, he was also hit by his father, which resulted in bruises on his shoulders, arms, and thighs.

The man was arrested for violating RA 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act. He got out on bail amounting to P60,000, and they eventually got back together.

Meanwhile, a woman from Zamboanga del Norte named Celia got slashed in the face by her partner Ben using a bolo after a heated argument. She was then rushed to a hospital after losing so much blood from the incident.

Celia filed a case against Ben and he got caught. Years later, Celia told KMJS that she still experiences pain in her face and is still traumatized by the experience.

“Hindi ko makalimutan ‘yun. Kaya minsan nga kapag naalala ko ‘yung dati kong mukha tapos ngayon parang mapaiyak ako. Minsan nga matutulog ako dalawang oras lang. Hindi ako makatulog kasi minsan itong loob ba ng gums sumasakit,” Celia said.

[“I will never forget the things he did to me. It still hurts me whenever I see my scarred face. Some parts of my gums are still painful, which is why I can’t sleep properly.”]

In another case, a woman from Labo, Camarines Norte named “Mary“ got pregnant at 17 with her partner “Dexter.” When she turned 18, they married immediately.

Throughout their relationship, fights persist due to “Dexter’s” vices.

“Matagal na siyang umiinom pero mas lumala. Iniiwanan niya ako mag-isa sa bahay kahit buntis ako,” “Mary” said.

[“He already had a drinking habit even before, but it got worse. He’d leave me alone at home, even when I was pregnant.”]

Aside from drinking, “Mary” also caught “Dexter” using drugs, which eventually caused their usual fights to turn into physical abuse.

“Pinagsusuntok niya ako sa katawan. Sinabunutan niya ako. Kinaladkad niya ako mula sa kabilang kuwarto sa kabila,” “Mary” said.

[“He’d punch me everywhere. He’d even pull my hair and drag me around the house.”]

“Mary” also revealed that her partner was physically and verbally abusing her even when she was pregnant.

“Nakita niya ‘yung ex ko. Nag-walk out ako pauwi. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso, hinatak. Nagpupumiglas ako. Ginawa niya kinagat niya ako sa magkabilang braso.”

[“He saw my ex. I tried to walk away from him, but he held me by the arm. When I tried to shrug him off, he bit me on both arms."]

“Mary” also said she almost took her own life after experiencing repeated abuse, but her child stopped her. She eventually left “Dexter” and took their kids with her.

“Pabor na pabor ako sa divorce. Kapag na-divorce na ako, ‘yung sarili ko para sa akin lang. Hindi niya na sa akin puwedeng ibato na ‘Asawa kita, akin ka lang,’ “Mary” said. 

[“I want to be able to divorce him. Because once we’re divorced, he can’t tell me that I’m his anymore and that I only belong to him.”]

In May, the House of Representatives approved on final reading the proposed absolute divorce measure.

According to Gabriela, there is an alarming increase of cases in terms of  violence against women.

“Very alarming ‘yung trend ngayon ng pagtaaas ng violence against women. Majority kasi ng mga victim ay mga nasa bahay na walang mga trabahong mga kababaihan at the same time, wala silang pang-ekonomiyang pinagkukunan nu’ng kanilang pang-araw-araw na pamumuhay so nakadepende sila sa kanilang asawa nandun din ‘yung kawalan ng kumpiyansa ng mga kababaihang kumawala sa masakit at mapang-aping relasyon ng mag-asawa,” said KJ Catequista of Gabriela Women's Party.

[“The increasing number of cases of violence against women is very alarming. The majority of the victims are stay-at-home wives without jobs, and they have no economic means to support their daily living, making them dependent on their husbands. This leads to a lack of confidence among women to break free from painful and oppressive marital relationships.”]

As of writing, the Philippines and Vatican City are the only countries in the world without divorce.

Rev. Fr. Jerome Secillano of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines believes that it’s not necessary for the country to have divorce.

“Ang divorce, hindi na naman kailangan. Unang-una dahil mayroon naman tayong mga legal processes na tumutugon sa paghihiwalay ng mga mag-asawa.”

["Divorce is not really necessary since we already have legal processes in place that separate married couples."]

“Mayroon tayong annulment, mayroon tayong legal separation. Sa simbahan mayroon din liberation of marriage. Palagay ko ang dapat gawin nila dito repormahan para at least maibigay talaga sa mga couples na irregular na ang unions, dysfunctional na ‘yung kanilang pagsasama. Makapaghiwalay nga talaga nang maayos,” he added.

["“Couples have the option to file for annulment or legal separation. In the church, there’s also what is called the liberation of marriage. What I think should be done is to reform these processes to address the concerns of couples in dysfunctional relationships."]

Meanwhile, Atty. Virginia Viray from UPD Gender Law & Policy Program explained that our existing laws are inadequate to protect the abused legal partners.

“Ang mga batas natin tulad ng annulment at legal separation, kulang na kulang para protektahan at pakawalan ang ating mga naaabusong asawa. It will allow ang mga naaabusong mga asawa na makapagbagong buhay, at iwanan na ‘yung sasabihin nating mala-impyernong relasyon nila,”  she said.

[“Annulment and legal separation are not enough to protect abused spouses. Divorce would allow these abused spouses to start again and escape their hellish life.”]

If you need assistance with issues related to women or child care, please contact the following hotlines:

PNP WOMEN AND CHILDREN PROTECTION CENTRE
0919-777-7377  /  (02) 8532-6690

PHILIPPINE COMMISSION ON WOMEN
8735-1654 loc.123, 124
0917-867-1907  /  0945-455-8121

COUNCIL FOR THE WELFARE OF CHILDREN
8374-3552  /  8461-6620
8366-1910  /  8461-6553

—MGP, GMA Integrated News