'Aswang' director Alyx Arumpac says she feared for her own safety after releasing drug war documentary

Filmmaker Alyx Arumpac said that she feared for her own safety after the release of her critically acclaimed documentary "Aswang."

The 2019 documentary film puts the spotlight on the Duterte administration's war on drugs.

In an exclusive interview on "The Howie Severino Podcast," Alyx said the release of the film made her afraid not just for herself, but also for the people around her and the people in the documentary.

"Iniisip mo kasi [You start thinking], you know, they've made such brilliant examples, eh, of what they can do to people. And people like us, we're just filmmakers," she said.

"Ayun talaga mayroong mga moment, not sure I'm just paranoid... Mayroon talagang certain instances na parang mapapaisip ka, 'Sino ba 'to?'"

["There were really moments, I didn't know if I was just being paranoid... There were really instances when I can't help but think, 'Who is this person?'"]

Covering the drug war

Alyx said that covering the drug war took a toll on her and other journalists after seeing death after death for months on end.

The director recalled that when they would pass by a sack on the road, one of her colleagues would tense up and wonder what could possibly be inside it.

"Sometimes kunwari may plastic lang na nakasabit, you really start seeing things, e. Du'n sa simula and then, of course, mayroon ng time na kapag may dadaan na motor sa likod ko, walking on the sidewalk, naninigas na ako," Alyx said.

["Sometimes when there's just plastic hanging somewhere, you really start seeing things. That's how it starts, and of course, there were times when a motorcycle would pass behind me, walking on the sidewalk, I freeze."]

In hindsight, Alyx said that she saw how the coverage affected her mental health, seeing bodies left and right almost every night.

One time, when Sheila Coronel was interviewing her in 2016 for an Atlantic piece, she just started to cry.

"I think I was certainly affected... We were just speaking together in a car and suddenly I started crying. And then, I think in the next few months when I would speak about the film, someone told me, 'You really can't speak without your voice shaking.'"

"I think it affected me somehow. I didn't sleep for a long time. My sleep was upside down," she added.

Looking back, Alyx said that other filmmakers and journalists should be prepared and be open to talk to other people when covering these stories.

"In my case, I think it was very helpful to talk to the other journalists... These people, they knew exactly what you were going through. So it helped a lot to have this community," she said.

She recalled how Brother Ciriaco "Jun" Santiago III, a photojournalist who was also a member of the Redemptorist Order based in Baclaran, helped her manage her mental health when he started to come and help the victims of the drug war.

"It was mostly Brother Jun doing all the helping. Kami parang nagko-cover lang. Pero parang nakatulong siya for me, for me mentally," she said. "I think mas nagkaroon ng higher purpose somehow 'yung coverage na hindi na lang you're there for the story. But you're really there for the real story and really listening to people because that's what Brother Jun did."

["It was mostly Brother Jun doing all the helping. We were just covering. But he was able to help me mentally. I think there became a higher purpose in our coverage, that it wasn't just us being there for the story, but you're really there for the real story and really listening to people because that's what Brother Jun did."]

"I cannot underscore how much he has helped people in the drug war," she added.

Fighting the climate of fear

Similar to the mythical creature aswang, the drug killings created a climate of fear that lurked in the dark, creeping in and ready to swoop in and take a life.

Alyx said that she is putting her hopes on the youth to create a better future. Like Brother Jun, the youth carry a high form of idealism within them to help others.

"I feel like I see that in a lot of young people nowadays that they expect a lot from the government, and they're expecting a lot from their teachers, that they do not accept a lot of things that in my generation would've been acceptable,” she said.

"A lot of young people now are very, I would say idealistic, and they really expect a lot from this world and they demand a lot and they deserve a lot," she added.

Alyx said she hopes that her film imparts something in a lot of young people that would translate to "better leaders, better people, better human beings someday."

"We have nothing else to hold on to but our optimism."

—Kaela Malig/MGP, GMA News