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‘I can be a b*tch’: Art Informal's Tina Fernandez walked the land of the dead and came back a bigger boss
"At one point, I was in a trap and I didn't know what to do. At one point, I almost hated art. I just wanted to close the whole thing. I had no taste for the whole thing," says Art Informal's Tina Fernandez.
She dressed in the unofficial color of the art scene (black), sitting on the narrow steps of the newly opened Art Informal in Makati that lead to the room where she entertains her guests, formally.
Just before she sat with GMA News Online, she was handing out instructions to a number of people as visitors began trickling for the opening of three exhibits: "Cheap Tricks", "My flesh whispers an urgent story", and "Buy 1 Take 1," on view until April 14.
It's apparent that she's a busy woman, but as soon as the interview started, Tina remained focused on the conversation and welcomed all the questions and interjections — speaking openly about herself and her struggle to discover who that is exactly.
Sometime in the last two years, Tina had found herself stuck: Everything tasted blah and nothing interested her visually during this period. It wasn't that she was depressed, she explained, "It's like you're walking in the land of the dead."
It was then that she decided to stop. In her words, she was catatonic. Everything she was doing seemed to have a negative effect and she decided to put things on hold and she signed up for a Jungian workshop as she embraced being lost.
"We get lost. You will not know the meaning of finding yourself until you get really lost," she said.
Fernandez has been running the gallery in Greenhills since 2004 and has recently opened two new ventures: a second branch and a concept store in Makati. She's a hands-on owner with instincts and appetite for art sharpened with years of experience — in and outside of the gallery.
She goes with the flow, noting down what she needs to do, but not following a precise schedule. She thinks on the fly, keeps herself open for growth, but stays in the now.
Here's how Fernandez, a bona fide business badass, lives her life.
I always wake up with a feeling of gratitude. Even for just two seconds. You open your eyes and you're like "Shit, I'm alive — yay" and then "What will I do today?"
Our history makes us who we are. You change a day, you'd be a different person. I am who I am now as a result of all the minutes and seconds that I lived my life.
If I'm asked what I want to change, I'd say I would change absolutely nothing. Savor every moment. If you don't feel good... e gano'n e. You learn to deal with situations that are not pleasant. You brush it off and try to change it into a pleasant experience for you, que se joda mangyari sa kaniya.
I can be a bitch. My standards are high and I cannot work with someone who says puwede na 'to. I'm a bitch because I want you to have a better life. If I do this, I'm not calling your attention for nothing. It's because I don't want you to settle for "puwede na."
After I get mad, I feel guilty. I make up for it. I don't say sorry, I make up for it by doing something for that person to make him feel na hindi deserve that.
I teach my son to do what makes him happy. You know what I want you to do? Do the things that makes you happy all the time. If it doesn't make you happy, stop it.
If I raise you well, bahala ka na. I am not responsible for you all your life. At a certain point, I have to stop and you have to live your life. If I feel confident that I was able to teach you how to think right, not what to do, and how to have certain principles that I teach him to leave by — bahala na siya what he wants to do.
I just go with my gut all the time. When it feels right then I do it. When the opportunity arises, when the opportunity presents itself and it feels right, I grab it. It's not even about whether I can afford to or not. I just do it.
It sounds baduy, but it's an "if you build it they will come" thing.
In any relationship, there's always an end...and when the relationship ends because it's not going to do either of you any good, then it will end whatever the reason is, whether there is a particular incident. Maybe it's just time. If it ends then it ends. It's bad because it ended, but it's good because...what happens next?
I wallow, I get depressed. I stay there. I give myself that...but I have to have a vehicle to deal with it. I write a letter — to the situation or the person. And then I write a letter coming back to me, as if it were from them. You can;t demand closure from other people.
Gender is usually used as an excuse. There's no difference. There are predispositions because of culture. But you can go past that.
Of course there are physical limitations to what you can or can't do, but in terms of mind, spirit, and emotions — everyone's the same. — LA, GMA News
The responses has been edited for brevity.
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