Best conversation starters in dating apps, according to research
Dating in the modern world has transgressed into a technologically advanced manner with the rise of dating apps. While these apps have made meeting new people and potential dates a lot easier, they have also brought a number of dilemmas, especially for those who are unfamiliar with the rules of the dating game.
Perhaps the biggest, most obvious problem is this: how do you initiate a conversation with another person whom you've never met in real life?
Whether online or face to face, starting conversations can always be tricky since you're clueless as to what type of person you're talking to. You don't know how they converse and you only have their profile photos as your guide or basis.
So if you're having a hard time, that's totally acceptable. An analysis of messages in dating apps conducted in 2021 has even shown that half of the first messages on these apps go unanswered.
Don't fret and give up because there's still hope to make a long-lasting impression on a potential significant other. The key is to grab their attention from the very first message. And how do you do that? Here are some conversation starters that can be effective as said by relationship experts.
Create an opener based on their profile
People like it when you check out their profiles first, before you send them a message. Here's a tip: pick out one interesting detail from their profile, and use it as your opener. Research has shown that starting conversations with “I noticed that…” or “you mentioned…” resulted in higher response rates on a dating app. This gives the recipient the impression that you actually took the time to read through his/her profile.
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For example, if your match indicated in their profile that they like the series Heartstopper, it would be smart to go with an opener like this, “I noticed in your profile that you like Hearstopper, what was your favorite scene?”
This can get you a higher chance of getting responded to since it shows that you are listening to them and hearing what they are saying. Plus, relationship coach and marriage and family therapist Dr. Marisa T. Cohen confirms that another person's photo or bio can also help jumpstart conversations.
Get to know them immediately by asking a “Would you rather” question
If their bio isn't enough to gauge whether you're a match, try asking “Would you rather” questions to them. Dr. Marisa T. Cohen points out that this attempt is much more creative than simply saying “Hey, how are you?” and can also induce a deeper level of thinking from the other person.
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Some examples can be asking them if they would rather go to the beach or go on a hike, enjoy the outdoors or stay in, watch a movie or go out for a jog, and such.
Stir away from questions that can be answered by yes or no
In dating apps, the goal is to get to know the person more. So the safest way to do that is to ask open-ended questions. According to Joanna Kaminski, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Clarity Therapy NYC, asking people open-ended questions can provide you with more information on stuff like work, friendships, family relationships, and such.
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For example, you can ask them what their thoughts are about low-maintenance friendships, the LGBTQIA+ community, and stuff like that. Just make sure that the topics you are throwing at them are general knowledge. Once you get comfortable with them, you can move on to specific, even personal topics.
Keep in mind that you're not in any way obliged to meet your match in person. Only agree to go out on a date when you're ready to take it to the next level (even then, you must still practice caution and prudence).
Check out these classy and sultry outfits you can cop for that upcoming date.
