BOY ABUNDA: The Making of a King

Text by Jimboy Napoles
Photos courtesy of Fast Talk with Boy Abunda

In this age of social media, when vlogging is everywhere and everyone loves to talk, there is only one person who has mastered the art of conversations. He is the King of Talk Boy Abunda.

After being in show business for more than two decades, Boy has proven his excellence as a TV presenter and become one of the highly-respected icons in the entertainment industry.

On December 15, 2022, Boy made a big career move as he officially inked a contract with GMA Network – his first home.

Tracing opportunities

Just like the first step in making a masterpiece, Boy also started from scratch – he traced opportunities and carved his way to success.

Born Eugenio Romerica Abunda Jr. on October 29, 1955, Boy came from a humble family in Borongan, Eastern Samar. Together with his sister, Maria Fe Abunda, he was raised by Lesing Abunda and Eugenio Abunda Sr.

“Nanggaling ako sa napakahirap na pamilya kung saan ang mga ninuno ko ay mga magsasaka at mangingisda,” Boy said in his interview with GMANetwork.com.

Growing up, Boy used to live a simple life in the province. So simple his life back then that he also never thought much about his dreams.

“Wala akong pangarap na nakasulat,” he claimed. “Ang pangarap ng nanay, gusto niya na maging accountant ako kasi gusto niyang magtrabaho ako sa PNB (Philippine National Bank). Ang akala ng Nanay kapag nagtrabaho ka sa bangko e, mayaman ka, siyempre lahat naman kami ang inuutangan namin bangko,” he shared.

Meanwhile, his father also had his dreams for him. Eugenio wanted Boy to become a lawyer for it will bring pride to their family and their small town.

“Tatay, dahil sa sobrang kadaldalan ko, dreamt of me becoming a lawyer dahil para magamit daw ’yung daldal ko at meron pa silang agenda noon. Sa probinsiya, pag abogado ka at saka CPA (Certified Public Accountant), merong placard sa labas ng bahay, ‘Eugenio Boy Abunda Jr. attorney at law slash CPA,’ pangarap ’yun ng mga magulang ko, ako wala,” he admitted.

When his father passed away, Boy immediately moved to Manila to make a living and be able to support his family. There in the big city, he took on odd jobs just to make ends meet.

“Right after Tatay passed on, I decided to roam the streets of Manila and started to make a living. Nagbenta ho ako ng encyclopedia, fire extinguishers, nag-tourist guide po ako, I opened doors of restaurants, lahat ho pinasok ko para lang mabuhay,” he recalled.

After being a merchant, Boy found himself as a stage actor and an assistant stage manager at the Metropolitan Theater in Manila. Through his network and connections, he later became a public relations manager in a public relations firm.

When he was working as a high-profile artist manager and a publicist for GMA Network back then, the opportunity of being a TV host was offered to him. But Boy never dreamt of becoming a TV host. He didn’t even know that there was such a job as a television host.

“Telebisyon… hindi ko pangarap. Nakita ko po ang unang television set noong ako’y nagpunta na dito sa Maynila, wala naman akong ideya na mayroong TV set. Ang alam ko lang si Nora Aunor, ang aking idolo, ay sikat na sikat.”

At the time, his only dream was uncomplicated and clear: to provide for his family, especially for the needs of his mother.

“I did not verbalize, I did not write what I wanted to become. Naging solid sa akin ’yung pangarap ko noong nawala ang Tatay noong pumanaw ang Tatay, iisa lang ’yun… hindi ko alam kung pangarap ’yun, pero ’yung vision ko, ’yung goal ko sa buhay, was to provide the best I could for my mother, if you call it a dream, it was my dream,” he said.

“’Yung goal ko sa buhay, was to provide the best I could for my mother, if you call it a dream, it was my dream.”

Becoming a TV host

Boy started his showbiz career on television in GMA through the showbiz-oriented talk shows Show and Tell, which ran from 1994 to 1995, and StarTalk from 1995 to 1999.

“Hindi ho ako magsisinungaling, sobrang lakas ng loob ang pinuhunan ko noong ako’y pumasok sa telebisyon. Nag-umpisa po ako dito sa GMA-7, I have no idea what it was to host,” he admitted.

“Everything started here, kasi ang nangyari sa Show and Tell, after a year, Gretchen Barretto had to rest because she got pregnant. Imagine I had to host the show with different girls, so ito ’yung naging training ground ko talaga. Doon talaga ako natuto mag-timon, doon ako natuto mag-host,” he shared.

Being unfamiliar with this new world as a TV host, Boy had also experienced extreme jitters that led him to many failed interviews.

“Pinagdaanan ko rin ’yung mga panahon na sobra ang kaba ko kasi hindi naman ako pamilyar sa espasyo, hindi naman ako pamilyar sa disiplina. Ang dami kong mali noong nag-uumpisa, hindi ko na maalala sa dami, so naging source siya ng kaba,” he said.

“Given a situation like that, your choice is to do good. Your choice is to learn. Your choice is to be the best of who you can or what you can do and to be the best of who you are,” he added.

In 1999, Boy transferred to ABS-CBN where he hosted several entertainment shows.

Around this time, Boy was slowly learning the art of interviews and storytelling. He also started developing a good attitude toward failure, believing that he has no control over some bad things that might happen during his interviews.

“In public speaking, fear is defined as knowing that you're going to mess up, that you're going to commit mistakes, e, wala na ako no’n dahil alam kong magkakamali naman ako e, and I’m going to embrace whatever the mistakes I have in front of the camera. Anxiety is repeating it. Ganun namin i-define ang pagkakaiba ng fear at saka ng anxiety,” Boy shared.

“Given a situation like that, your choice is to do good. Your choice is to learn. Your choice is to be the best of who you can or what you can do and to be the best of who you are.”

Determined student

Boy took up a Business Management course at the Ateneo De Manila University but he failed to finish his studies there because of his father's death.

Filling in the education gaps that he had, Boy decided to pursue his studies while doing his hosting duties in show business. Later in 2009, he graduated from the Philippine Women’s University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication, then Master of Arts in Communication Arts in 2011, and finally, Doctor of Philosophy in Social Development in 2016.

“Tinapos ko po ang aking kolehiyo I was already on television doing very well, nag-Masters ho ako in Communication, nag-Doctoral na po ako sa Social Development, dahil gusto ko nakapaskil din ’yung diploma ko sa bahay namin sa probinsiya, wala ako no’n e, wala akong naibigay.”

Even though he finished his studies later than usual, Boy believes it was also at the right time because for him, fulfilling your dreams has no time limit.

“But it was never too late, sa mga nagsasabing, ‘I’m too old to go back to school,’ hindi. You are never too old to fulfill your dreams.”

Boy became the commencement speaker at his graduation, where he dedicated his speech to his mother Lesing.

“Noong grumaduate po ako, I marched with the other graduates but I was the commencement speaker of my graduation, and what was my speech? My speech was a letter to my mother, who was bedridden at that time.

“Sulat ko sa aking ina, na nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng kaniyang mga ginawa na mabuti at nag-sorry sa lahat ng mga hindi ko natupad para sa kaniya.”

“You are never too old to fulfill your dreams.”

Losing his purpose

While he was doing good in his career as a TV host, Boy kept his promise to his father by continuing to provide the best life for his mother.

“For the longest time, kalusugan lang ng nanay ko, kalusugan lang ng pamilya ko, kaya when I was able to earn enough money, lahat ng puwedeng gawin para lang mabigyan ng the best health care ang aking ina, ginawa ko.”

When he had the means, Boy took his mother abroad to get the best treatment for her illness.

“Dinala ko po ang nanay ko sa Germany, sa Paris, kung saan nagsasabi na mayroong gamot, I would go to where the medication was available.”

Aside from giving his mother the best health care, Boy also built several houses in different locations just for his mom.

“’Yung iba kasi ano e, pangarap ko lang magkaroon ng ganito, pangarap ko lang magkaroon ng bahay, pero lahat ng ’yun may kinalaman sa nanay ko totoo ’yun. May bahay ako sa Tagaytay, may bahay ako sa Baguio, may bahay ako sa Lipa, may bahay ako sa Borongan, pero lahat ng ito hindi para sa akin. It was all because Nanay liked Tagaytay kasi malamig, Nanay liked Lipa kasi parang Samar doon sa aming farm, Nanay liked Baguio kasi malamig, ginawa ko lahat ’yun.”

Boy might seem to have a knack for being able to finish his studies, doing well with his job, and spoiling his family all at once. But his clear purpose in life was immediately shattered when his mother died on the morning of December 1, 2019 at the age of 90.

“I had a very clear purpose in this life kaya mahirap noong pumanaw ang Nanay.”

This was the time when he, a master interviewer, was confronted with the most difficult question he ever encountered in his life.

“Ang pinaka-malaking tanong ko sa sarili ko sabi ko, ‘How do I move forward?’”

Boy admitted that he was lost during that time and that he endured the pain before he was able to get back on with his life.

“Nawalan ako ng dahilan. It took a while, It took a lot of voices. Mga boses na nagmamahal sa akin to put me back into my pathway.”

He also did not want to be free of the grief caused by his mother's death because he believed that it was his only connection to her.

“Kaya sinasabi ko na ayokong mawala ’yung pain sa pagkawala ng Nanay ko, I don’t want to lose that pain, because that pain is the only connection to my mother.”

“Kaya sinasabi ko na ayokong mawala ’yung pain sa pagkawala ng Nanay ko, I don’t want to lose that pain, because that pain is the only connection to my mother.”

Just months after his mother's passing, a string of unfortunate events followed: pandemic struck and his then-home network, ABS-CBN, lost its franchise in July 2020.

Despite the many bad things that had happened, Boy did not allow all these problems to make him paralyzed and not move forward.

When his then-network went off the air and he lost his television shows, Boy created his YouTube channel, which marked his entry into social media.

“Gusto ko ’yung YouTube because, it may not be television but it provided me a platform to do interviews, basta ’wag lang akong mawala, ’wag lang akong kalawangin at ang dami-dami kong natutunan sa social media, ang dami-dami kong nakilala sa social media. I think my perspective as a communicator broadened because of my involvement in social media,” he shared.

Fast forward to 2022, Boy returned to GMA and brought back the showbiz talk show on Philippine television via Fast Talk with Boy Abunda.

“Umalis ho ako I was 'Startalk-ing', ngayon po bumabalik po ako I’m 'Fast-talking'. So ang dami ko na pong nalaman at parati ko pong sinasabi dito po ako natutong maglakad, sa kabila I learned how to fly, ngayon ang challenge is to be able to combine both,” he said.

“Dito po ako natutong maglakad, sa kabila I learned how to fly, ngayon ang challenge is to be able to combine both.”

The truth behind his interviews

Being in the industry for more than two decades, Boy has done countless interviews with celebrities, prominent individuals, and even politicians. These interviews might have appeared to be simple conversations but these made some people laugh, cry, be inspired, and involved.

But some may be wondering, what is his goal in each of his interviews?

Boy answered, “I will admit at this point that, pero hindi lang ito ngayon even when I was doing StarTalk, I was doing my mahiwagang salamin, there became a time when I thought I had this dubious reputation of making everybody cry.”

According to Boy, his ultimate goal in every interview is to become a part of the storytelling and carry relatable messages from his interviewee to his audiences.

“You don’t need to cry in front of me. Ang goal ko is to be part of that storytelling. My goal is to be part of your story and to be the messenger or the intermediary between the movie star or the celebrity and the public. ’Yun ang aking trabaho, para itawid ang kuwento sa mga manonood.”

“My goal is to be part of your story and to be the messenger or the intermediary between the movie star or the celebrity and the public.”

Boy considers his job of interviewing people to be complex, but that only adds to the excitement.

“Minsan nga’y nagpaplano ka, not until you’re on cam, when you hear new stories, you see new nuances, mga bagong bagay na ipinakikita sa’yo ng bisita mo. Hindi mo naman puwedeng hindi pansinin ‘yun because that means you’re being led to a certain part of the story. So yes it's about speaking, it's about listening, it's about reading the nuances, it's a very complex job and I enjoy it."

Another important thing in his interviews is the kind of questions that he is going to ask his interviewees. For Boy, gone are the days of asking the “hardest questions” because, yes, they may result in good discussion, but more often they just become a form of distraction.

“Maraming akong mga maling tanong na naitanong ko early on in my career kasi ang akala ko rin noon I’m an interviewer, kailangan I have to be able to ask the hard questions. Pinagdaanan ko po ‘yun. Should I be able to ask, ‘Are you gay? Do you have another woman? You are disloyal to…’ You know ang akala ko no’n kapag naitanong mo ‘yung hard questions, magaling ka. I have traveled beyond that.”

His experience in conversing with people has taught him that being able to ask simple and honest questions is also a sign of sophisticated thinking.

“The hardest questions to ask are the most honest questions. Sometimes the most difficult questions are the simplest questions, ‘Are you happy? Do you feel betrayed? The shorter the question, the more powerful the question.

“The hardest questions to ask are the most honest questions.”

“Ayokong sabihin na mayroong mahirap na tanong, may madaling tanong, hindi, depende ito kung sino ang kausap mo.”

Celebrity interviews have occasionally sparked major controversies. But has Boy made a big deal out of his conversation with a guest on purpose?

“Sa tagal kong interviewer, hindi ako kailanman umupo sa harap ng isang panauhin, ng isang guest, na ang aking intensyon was to embarrass, to humiliate, to demean, hindi, bahagi lamang ako ng kuwento. I do my interviews because I’m part of the storytelling process, bahagi ako ng storytelling, so my guests know that the best way to connect is to acknowledge the presence of each other.

“Pero am I perfect? Nagagawa ko ba ‘yun? Hindi. May mga mali pa rin ako. May mga pagkakataon pa rin na naitutulak ako ng tapang, ng pagkakataon, that sense of being risky. Hindi ako namimili ng kausap. Everybody has a story. Why do I say that? Because many years ago I mean years before I became a public figure, who would have thought that I had a story to tell? So ‘yun ang aking laging perspective na everyone has a right to be heard, everybody has a story. Discover that story. And that’s my job as an interviewer,” he added.

“Everyone has a right to be heard, everybody has a story.”

Most people like to prepare everything to get their job done, but when it comes to interviewing, Boy believes that preparedness is overrated as he sometimes prefers a little spontaneity and just be surprised by what is going to happen in his interviews.

“May mga pagkakataon na may ugali ako na everytime I do an interview, ayokong kausap ang guests ko kasi parang minsan nawawala ‘yung freshness. I also make sure that I don't over-prepare. I make sure that meron kang pagkakataong makinig. You allow yourself to be surprised, you allow yourself to be entertained, you allow yourself to… May mga pagkakataon na nawawala ka na lang, hindi mo na namamalayan na bahagi ka na ng audience ng guest mo, so ‘yun, it’s a wonderful, wonderful world,” he shared.

The essence of being an interviewer

Out of the many professions that contribute to the success of the creative industry, what makes an interviewer and a talk show host still relevant?

Boy got an answer to this question when he watched a conversation between American talk show host Dick Cavett and the late American actress Bette Davis.

He said, “Ano ba ang papel namin bilang interviewers? Ano ba ang papel namin bilang hosts? Sabi ni Bette Davis, and I repeat this, we cannot tell our whole story by just the movies we do. Half of our stories, half of who we are, are done by people like you interviewers.”

He then related, “‘Ano bang relevance ng talk shows? Hindi kami teleserye, pero hindi kami narrative, hindi kami action movie, hindi kami game show but we're a talk show. We’re part of the storytelling factory. ‘Yun ang trabaho namin, magpakilala, dahil kinakapitan ka nang husto ng mga manonood mo kapag kilala ka. Hindi naman tayo puwedeng makilala ng tao, sa mga pelikula lang at mga serye natin.”

“Ang iba kasi kumakanta para magkuwento, ang iba umaarte para magkuwento, ang iba nagtutula para magkuwento. Naniniwala ako as a talk show host, naniniwala ako as an interviewer that my role is also to tell a story. I’m part of the storytelling community, I’m a storyteller. My gadget, my tool, is the interview. ‘Yun ang aking papel ika nga sa industriya,” he reiterated.

“Naniniwala ako as a talk show host, naniniwala ako as an interviewer that my role is also to tell a story.”

The hardest question to answer

For someone like Boy who has mastered the art of interviews, what is that one question that he finds difficult to answer?

“‘How old are you?’ To me is the most fearful question,” Boy replied.

There is a deeper meaning why he is afraid of that question relating to his age.

“Pero may mas malalim na dahilan ‘yan, there’s a second level to that. Tatanggapin ko that age is somehow one of the most important currencies in this business, naka-attach minsan ang celebrities sa pagkabata kaya ayokong tumanda in that sense,” he explained.

“Age is somehow one of the most important currencies in this business.”

“Sa ano nga e, sa Wikipedia, I’m 65, 67 years old. Noong una naba-bother ako, sabi ko nga sa abogado namin, ‘Uy papalitan mo naman ‘yan sabihin naman natin ang totoo.’ Pero now, okay lang ako para sabihin nila na, ‘Uy ang bagets mo pa pala sa personal,’” Boy said, laughing. I would know when I would go pero hindi ako magkukunwari na walang effect ang pagiging bata,” he added.

The premier television host also cited his conversation with actress and Miss Universe 1969 Gloria Diaz where they talked about beauty.

“I remember a conversation I had with Gloria Diaz, sabi ko sa kaniya, ‘What is beauty to you?' Simple lang ang sagot ni Gloria, ‘Youth.’ ‘Di ba nagpapakahirap tayo sa pag-inom ng supplements to stretch the skin or to make our skin glow, lahat ‘yan meron ang mga bata.”

Despite his fear of being asked about his age, Boy explained that he is not afraid of aging or of losing his stardom.

“Pero natatakot ba akong tumanda? The truth of the matter is no. Natatakot ba akong malaos? Hindi. I’ve been too blessed to be afraid of being a has-been,” he answered matter-of-factly. “Mahirap kang malaos if you know your worth. Mahirap kang malaos kung alam mo kung saan ka mahalaga and you have to embrace your worth. And if you know your worth, you’re not going to be obsolete, you’re not going to be irrelevant.”

“If you know your worth, you’re not going to be obsolete, you’re not going to be irrelevant.”

Learnings to share

The King of Talk also shared some important techniques and attitudes to be able to ace a nerve-wracking interview.

According to Boy, one crucial step in conducting an interview, and public speaking in general, is to shift your mindset toward something good and positive.

“Importante sa communication, sa public speaking, change your mindset, you know meron kaming tinatawag na power declaration in public speaking. Just before a show starts, aside from relaxing your mind, body and spirit, you have to tell yourself that I’m going to slay this. I’m going to have fun, I’m going to make them fall in love with me. It’s a well-intentioned performance,” Boy shared.

You must also believe that you have control over the discussion rather than overthinking that you might screw up.

“Kapag halimbawa sinabi mo, ‘Makakalimutan ko ang pangalan nito, makakalimutan ko ang pangalan nito,’ It's gonna happen. And it's not even fear, it's anxiety, you become anxious. Because you keep on telling yourself, your mind, at saka ‘yung mind natin sumusunod, kapag sinabi mo sa isipan mo, na ito ang mangyayari, maniniwala ‘yun. Kapag inulit-ulit mo ‘yan that becomes anxiety, and that’s not good.”

Having happy thoughts will boost your confidence too.

“What is good? This is a tip lalo na sa public speakers, lalo na sa mga hosts, remember something that made you happy, pinalakpakan ka noong nag-declamation ka noong high school, you got an A+ in a graded recitation, ‘yan ang ilagay mo sa utak mo, ‘yan ang ilagay mo sa isipan mo, and that will make you smile, and then declare it, 'I'm gonna do well' and you will.”

If there's one hard lesson that the media industry has taught him, it's staying true to his core and values.

“Kahit gaano kahirap ‘yung paglalakbay sa buhay natin, and this is not original, stay true to your core, huwag kang humiwalay sa kung sino ka. Huwag kang humiwalay kung ano ang katotohanan mo. Anong katotohanan ko? Galing ako sa napakahirap na pamilya. But I’m not obsessed about being poor. That didn’t stop me from dreaming.”

The memory of his poor life back in Borongan is a daily reminder and motivation for Boy Abunda to strive to become the best version of himself.

“Ano ang truth ko? Mahirap ang aking mga magulang. Ang aking mga ninuno ay mga magsasaka at mangingisda. I stand on their shoulders, I’m talking right now, I’m not alone, I am with my ancestors, I am with my parents. I am the sum total of all who came before me.”

“Kahit gaano kahirap ‘yung paglalakbay sa buhay natin, and this is not original, stay true to your core, huwag kang humiwalay sa kung sino ka.”

Through the years, he's learned to accept his flaws and turn his insecurities into a source of strength and pride.

“Dati natatakot akong mag-Tagalog, mag-Ingles, kasi nabi-bisaya ko ang ‘e’ at ‘i’ ang ‘o’ nagiging ‘u’ ngayon hindi na ako takot. Kapag nagkamali ako, sasabihin ko lang, because I like to be very honest about my beginnings, matigas talaga ang dila namin, anong magagawa ko? But that does not define how I live and how I think. That does not define who I am as a person."

While it does feel nice to be treated as a "gold standard," Boy is not keen on savoring the excessive admiration or praise. He still wants to keep a good head on his shoulders.

“Kaya kapag sinasabing inspirasyon [ako], maraming maraming salamat pero ‘yung magaganda lang because I’m not perfect. Ang takot ko kasi doon sa inspirasyon is the expectation of perfection is close to the concept of being an inspiration, hindi po.” I’m just as flawed, I’m just as human, and I’m just as brittle as anybody else, I work so hard to get into this space. Walang bagyo, walang lindol, walang kahit ano ang makakapagpahinto sa akin when I am on cam.”

“‘Yung pagiging standard hindi, ang aking pa nga ay, I can be a trigger point, but go beyond it and be better if you can. Because hindi puwedeng ito ang standard ko, ito ka, hindi e. May iba kang kuwento, may iba kang rhythm, may iba kang indayog, may iba kang cadence. Again you go back to your core, listen to your story and do it the best way you can.”

What makes for a great legacy? A life lived with purpose and in gratitude.

“So ‘yung King of Talk that's ephemeral, that passes, itong mga titulo. But who you are as a person is more important dahil ‘yun ang mas nagtatagal. Wala akong ilusyon na sabi ko nga as a manager, as a writer, the one immutable law in the business is that nothing, nothing lasts forever.”

“So ‘yung King of Talk that's ephemeral, that passes, itong mga titulo. But who you are as a person is more important dahil ‘yun ang mas nagtatagal.”