Rhian Ramos
STRONGER
'Love Of My Life' star Rhian Ramos reminisces about her brief but meaningful stay in New York and shares the biggest life lessons that made her tougher, wiser, better.
Text by Felix Ilaya
Photos by Love of My Life Show, Jamesson Vista and Rhian Ramos Instagram
In 2019, Rhian Ramos took a break from the limelight.
The statuesque beauty packed her bags and flew to New York where she stayed there for six months.
In half a year’s time in the Big Apple, Rhian experienced a few changes in her life that shaped her into a stronger and better person we see today.
When we met with Rhian after her stay in New York, there was a pronounced difference about her. This change, she said, is what The City of Dreams has brought into her life.
“I feel like in some ways, my mind kind of paused for a while. All of the experiences that I've had growing up were just in showbiz. I never got to experience other things where I don't have people around me, protecting me from any situation that could possibly happen.
“That was the first time I've ever spent a lot of time away ever since I joined show business at 15. It was nice to be able to grow in the most 'I don't give a damn' city in the world. Everyone there really is just so independent and tough.
“When you're surrounded by people like that, it teaches you to not be a big baby about anything. It toughens you up. That's the kind of quality I'll forever be grateful to that city for. I can definitely say that I'm much more confident now,” she said.
Rhian’s main reason she went to New York was to study improvisational comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade which produced some of today’s brightest comedians, including Broad City’s Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson, and Ben Schwartz of Parks and Recreation fame.
All in all, Rhian studied for two semesters, beginner and intermediate improv comedy, each semester running for three months. From her lessons, she learned how to be an actress that’s quick on her feet no matter what the scene calls for.
“Improv doesn't just apply to comedy. It also helped me in my acting, especially if my scene partner doesn't mind adlibs too much.
“It's a great thing if you just know how to trust your gut if it felt right in the moment to do something and then nagsasaluhan kayo ng scene partner mo. That’s what improv was like kasi. We didn't have a script.
“All we had was trust in each other's ability to catch one another. It made me learn how to adapt to scenes quickly no matter what they throw at me."
Another big takeaway Rhian got from living in The Big Apple was adapting that “tough as nails” attitude common among New Yorkers. While this new trait of hers is unusual among Filipinos, it definitely comes in handy now that she’s back home and in the spotlight.
“Since I grew up in our culture, doon ko lang din na-realize na Filipinos are naturally apologetic. We're quick to say ‘Sorry’ even if we didn't do anything wrong.
“To us, it's just a politeness kind of thing but I never realized how often I told people that I was sorry until I got there. [I’d apologize and] they were like 'For what?' And I'm like, 'Oo nga 'noh?’I thought I was just being polite.
“I have a balance of both now which I'm grateful for. One of the strengths of the Filipino is that we're hospitable, polite, and sensitive to how other people feel so we try our best to not make other people uncomfortable. That's a compassion that I'll always carry with me.
“What I got from New York was to not overdo it, to know not to sacrifice myself just to make others feel comfortable."
Now that she’s practicing to be more assertive, Rhian has finally learned the difficult art of saying “No,” especially when it comes to things that she really dislikes.
"When I came back, I was more honest with people also. I didn't realize before na nag-ye-yes ako kahit sa loob-loob ko, ayoko palang gawin.
“When I do things that I don't want to do, I have resentment in me. Now I'm just straight with people. I trust in their ability to understand that I'm just another person instead of constantly trying to make everyone happy.”
Unexpectedly, out of everything Rhian got out of her time there, perhaps the biggest one happens to be forging a deeper bond with her family despite being continents apart.
"My family and I started having more meaningful conversations. When I was here, I would see them all the time, 'pag nakikita namin 'yung isa't isa, it's just a quick ‘Hi,’ ‘Hello,’ ‘I'm going to sleep.’
“When I experienced being away from them, we would really make time to video call each other. We would really open up about things that are going on inside our hearts. It became a practice to tell each other what we've realized this week or this month.
"Siguro part of my upbringing na rin to treat everyone a certain way. I may look extroverted but in my private time, I became secretive. I didn't like talking about what's going on in my life because I didn't want to worry anyone. I don't want things blown out of proportion kaya tuloy, wala akong sinasabihan ng kahit ano.
“When I lived alone, I didn't want my family to worry so it made me more open to them, [so kind of] the opposite reaction happened."
Now that she’s back in the Philippines and in the spotlight, Rhian is ready to apply this new version of herself, not just to her personal life, but to her trade as well.
The 29-year-old Kapuso actress currently stars as Kelly in the Kapuso Primetime drama series Love Of My Life. After her time in New York, she’s feeling refreshed, recharged, and ready to take on this new character.
"It's been a year since I've done a teleserye and to be honest, I'm still a little nervous. It matters to me how my fans take it 'eh, how they react. I always hope that they like my character; they enjoy the show that I'm doing.
“In terms of the physical and emotional needs of teleseryes, I actually missed it. When I do television, I feel like it's my sport. How many scenes can I do in a day? Can I give all of it my 100 percent? This is like running a marathon and I missed that kind of competition with myself."
“I think I'm just always hungry to learn and explore. I love improving and when I learn one new thing, it excites me.
“If I'm gonna do something, I'll try and be the best at it.”
Watch for this new and improved Rhian Ramos, wiser, better, stronger.
